Is It Really Selfish To Not Have Children?
--
There are childless people, and there are child-free people.
If you’re childless, society, will give you grace and sympathy for your unfulfilled desires.
But if you are child-free by choice?
How dare you rebel against society!…
Damn you!
When I was 5 years old —
My family emigrated from Turkey to Germany for a better life.
Like most immigrants, dreams often collide with harsh realities—My father struggled to find a well-paying job, making it exceedingly difficult to provide for our family.
So my family of 7 settled into a cramped 2 bedroom apartment in the low-income settlements of Berlin — since my father was the only breadwinner.
He left at dawn and got back home when we kids were already in bed.
In contrast, my mother took on the matriarch's role seriously, quite stern in her demeanor, transforming the chaos of five children into a semblance of order.
I remember indulging in American Tv
. The glamorous and adventurous lives of 90210 teenagers, which was a stark contrast to the monotony of my shared bedroom experience.
Friends, on the other hand, gave me a glimpse of something else–a life filled with possibilities, where fun and freedom were the norm.
I often wondered whether my parents were truly happy with the life they chose, or they were conforming.
So from a very young age, I had a resolve: —
I wanted better for myself.
I wanted to first relieve my father from the financial burden, then live a free life of choice.
This early drive led me to Tech
It’s one of the few fields where bureaucracy doesn’t count as much as talent does.
Right after graduation, I landed a lucrative job in a software consulting firm and at 27, I finally bought my family a beautiful spacious home in the leafy suburbs of Berlin, something I always dreamt of.
I still have a vivid memory of the unbridled joy in my parent’s faces.
However, my mother’s initial joy was quickly replaced by a look of concern.
While she was proud of my professional success and the home I got her, her ultimate desire… she said, was a grandchild.
It’s all she ever talked about, from then on: —
Hints here and there, on the phone and whenever I visited, when a friend getting married, or when she saw a mother coddle her child.
She never missed an opportunity to remind me of her wish.
At the height of the pandemic
I met this beautiful woman; Turkish, Muslim, everything my family, and perhaps even my mother, secretly hoped for.
My family embraced her, my mother especially, seeing her as the missing puzzle piece — the perfect wife and future mother.
However, as our relationship deepened, so did our differences.
While she dreamt of a bustling household with four children, the picture I envisioned was full of travel to vibrant destinations and career growth.
I wanted to move to Dubai, and she didn’t share the same enthusiasm.
A part of me craved that familial harmony, the picture-perfect life she envisioned. Yet, the very thought of entering a marriage with such a fundamental disconnect is something I couldn’t get rid of.
I ended my relationship last fall and moved to Dubai.
My desire to explore, to build a business, and to chase professional dreams is my sense of self —
the source of meaning and happiness in my life.
I couldn’t compromise that for the sake of making my mother happy.
I haven’t looked back, though. Dubai has become my new home, and I have no regrets yet.
I’ve given everything I ever wished for to my family, and more...
But in the eyes of my mother, I am not the perfect son — until I give her a grandchild!
Unlocking Strategic Thinking
Is the key to overcoming daily challenges.
I’ve written a guidebook on strategy to help you navigate issues in your career, relationships, and business.
Right now, it’s available for free on Kindle!
Discover how to unleash this skill within you to steer your life where you want it to go.
I’d love to hear what you think.
Grab your free copy and let’s embark on this empowering journey together!
https://mybook.to/strategiclifestyle
Thank you for reading.
