Stranger (NOT)! Danger
The summer before high school I spent a lot of time on the internet talking to strangers. It consumed my life for about three months; any chance I got to go online, I would. My encounters with these people were not intentional. To be clear, I did not go on random profile searches and add random people. As far as I can recall, it started around mid-July when High School Musical 2 premiered. Prior to this, “don’t talk to strangers” was a phrase I heard constantly throughout my childhood which didn't change at all when the internet emerged; in fact, the fear only heightened with constant news on “online sexual predators,” and “pedophiles luring young women from the internet.” This was common sense of course. Why would I associate with strangers or people I didn't know? I never talked to them on the street, so I knew not associate myself with strangers once I got involved with social media in middle school. MySpace was the centerfold of teenage interaction, which is why I made an account. I finished middle school June of 2007 and that summer I spent a lot of time on the internet and MySpace because many of my junior high friends were either moving away or going to a different school and this was our way of staying in touch (it also did not help that my best friends had strict parents that hardly let them out alone).
That summer I discovered that talking to strangers online is constantly put in a negative light by adults, but my experiences prove otherwise.
I lived with my grandparents at the time, and to them I was not old enough for my own computer so I had to use the family desktop located in an open space by the living room — in between the staircase and the window that overlooked the outside entrance. I was always self conscious that they would find out that I was talking to “strangers” because our computer desk was against the wall, and the computer’s screen was facing the living room, which meant my back was facing the living room and my family could see the computer screen. Paranoid that my grandparents would ask questions, I would make the chat windows smaller and move them to the corner of the screen while having a website such as Yahoo! Or Google open in a wide screen. I was aware of the dangers, but I did not quite think it was too dangerous since my profile’s details were limited.
I kept it minimal: name, age, location (state not city), likes/dislikes. My grandparents were in charge of an apartment complex so they were busy running errands; my older siblings were old enough to go out as they wished and my younger siblings would watch T.V. Due to boredom, curiosity and lack of activities, I would use the computer. During this time, I was going through a Disney phase and was a huge fan of the High School Musical franchise. The second installment was scheduled to premiere that summer and I was utterly excited. I re-watched the first one countless times; I watched all their interviews provided by Disney Channel; I even hosted a mini premiere party with my best friend at the time Sara and her younger sister at my house. On social media, many of the actresses and actors had “official” MySpace pages that were probably run by their publicity team, which I find funny now because many fans thought it was really them at the time.
I would visit their pages to see their updates. I would check all of the main casts’ profiles daily to see if they posted new pictures. I was interested in seeing candid photos they took themselves, instead of candid photos taken by paparazzi. I would read comments because other fans would know of their whereabouts or news that I had not already heard. Other times, I would see personal photos of their past — such as Vanessa Hudgens as a child in theater and Zac Efron’s baby pictures. The pictures that I really liked I would save on my computer on a specific folder so I could later show my friends what I found in hopes they would be just as excited.
One night…
I was aimlessly searching the internet because most of my friends weren't online (it was when being online was not so easily accessible through phones and laptops among younger kids were not too popular). I decided to check Vanessa Hudgens’ profile and I stumbled across pictures from the High School Musical 2 red carpet premiere in Disneyland. I was scrolling through all the pictures and admiring all the dresses, when I decided to leave a comment. On the photo was Vanessa Hudgens in a long, deep cut v, red dress posing on the red carpet alongside her costars. I wrote about how the dress was very well fitting and her up-do was very classy. Not too long after, others were leaving comments that said things like “^^ I agree,” or “^ very true” in response to my short comment. I soon logged off for about 10 minutes and then decided to log back on after my family had gone to their bedrooms.
Oddly enough, I had a friend request from a stranger; someone who looked about my age. I checked their profile to see if it was someone I knew from middle school, but instead I saw on their profile that they were a High School Musical fan as well. At first I was uncomfortable accepting a friend request from someone I did not know in real life especially with all the paranoia revolving around talking to strangers online, but I did it anyway.
“Hey.” is all that the messaged said. But little did I know that this would open up this new online culture for me.
I was friendly and responded with “hi.☺” Her name was Marissa, and she was only a year younger than me. Our conversation was awkward at the beginning. She started by asking me if I was a fan of the franchise, to which I replied, “Of course!” She then ranted about how excited she was for the second film to be released and to see how the character’s story-lines would develop. She was clearly a lot more involved in the fandom than I was which almost made me feel like I needed to know more about the movie and the actors. We talked all the time up until the premiere and after the premiere we established we would go online and talk about what we thought about the movie. That was when I realized I had established a friendship with someone online, who I had never met because we had bonded over a Disney franchise.
She lived in Florida; therefore she was able to see the movie three hours in advance. Lucky for me, my family had Direct T.V and that gave us Pacific Time Disney channel and the Eastern Time Disney channel which meant I was able to watch it at the same time. With the computer located in the living room, and my T.V in my room, I was not able to be online while watching it, a concept probably known as “live blogging” these days. But once it was over, I went on MySpace and messaged Marissa about my thoughts. We had a whole discussion about the film: the music, the dance numbers, and the characters’ development. After this, we began talking about things outside of High School Musical such as school, boys, our families, and other likes/dislikes from Disney. She became one of my closest friends for awhile (I would like to note that I did not neglect my real life friends either). After some time, I trusted her enough to give her my phone number so we could text and we did. It became easier for us to be in constant communication with one another and it did not really feel as if she was so far away. I felt comfortable sharing my life with her. I had established such a deep connection with someone who was states away that I couldn't with friends who were next to me.
There’s a right way to make friends with strangers online?
Marissa introduced me to the idea that making friends online was not such a bad idea if you’re doing it right. Apparently, she had friends from different parts of the country, which I found fascinating but scary as well. I remember asking her if she was worried about dangerous people and her response was that she had a way of filtering people and many people in the fandom did the same thing. She said, “You have two profiles. One where you add the people you do not know and another one where you just have your friends and acquaintances from school.” I thought about this because it did not make sense to me at first. Why would I have two profiles? It almost felt as if I was keeping a secret. But I did it. I made another profile where I communicated with people who liked High School Musical. Messaging, commenting, sharing new pictures of interviews we found. It was a different bonding experience than those from my friends outside of the internet. I did learn to filter out those I wanted to be friends with outside of MySpace and who I would give my phone number to. The people I interacted with were friends with one another, so we had an inner circle of friends and that led to having group chats on Chatzy (a website where you created your own chatroom and only those with the link and password could access it), before group chats became a thing. Eventually, we branched out of High School Musical. We started chatting about school, homework, college, and relationships. We opened up about our actual lives, deepening our friendships.
Where are we now?
I have friends who I met that live an hour away from me, to friends who live in the East Coast, or in Canada. Some I have met physically and others I have yet to meet. What strikes me is that I was able to have and maintain these friendships because of the internet; because of this new media; because of social networks, cell phones and texting. I know many people frown upon making friends online because it’s dangerous but it was a pleasant experience for me. Although I no longer use MySpace or no longer participate in the High School Musical fandom, at the time it fostered so many friendships, some of which I still have today, almost ten years later. I have learned so much from all these people who would have been considered strangers and dangerous by my friends and family. With new media evolving, such as the creation of Skype, FaceTime, group chats, Face book, and apps, I have been able to retain these friendships years and years later. We have seen each other grow as people and mature, especially having met at such a young age. We have gone through high school and college together. These “strangers” know me and my struggles and possibly better than a lot of people surrounding me. We have been through what conventional friendships go through as well — the drama, fights, problems, tears, and success and I do not consider them any less of friends than those who I see every day.
I mean, don’t all friendships begin as two strangers anyway?
