TAKING TIME TO SAY HELLO
AND OTHER THINGS I’VE BEEN TOO BUSY TO DO
Today was amazing. Seriously amazing. Nothing profound occurred to the sight of the rest of the world, but my soul was settled enough to experience the people around me. After a quick, surprise phone call with a dear friend and old colleague, I spent some time meditating on the state of my heart. I’m redeemed, known, loved, and created for a purpose. During my soul-chant, I grew a greater awareness that I am also made for others. I am not on a lonely island, I am in a populated city, and I am made to connect with people. I preach the importance of community all the live-long-day, but I often times forget that my advice applies to me too.
This morning I prayed that I would have opportunities to connect with my neighbors. Fast forward two breaths later and I found myself fantasizing over some ridiculous vision that I would bounce into a new neighbor at the mailboxes and we’d have tea over freshly baked gluten free cookies. Then a second daydream arrived featuring me chasing down a stray dog and returning it to their owner who happens to live in my complex, upon which we quickly become fast friends. I know I’m crazy. My life has been invested in storytelling for years so cut me some slack. Or maybe I should ask you to hold me accountable to focus on the present and developing realistic expectations for life?! I digress..
You see, I suffer the plight of the millennial, a false-reality where we are so hyper focused on achievement, attention, and self that we forget others exist and that they matter. Embarrassing but true, I can’t remember the last time I asked someone how their day was as I walked by. I often do the “Hiowreyou” coupled with quick eye contact, pretending that I care and that I am listening for their reply. 99% of the time I get a grunt or a “Hiowreyou” back out of obligation. Generalizing here, but I would say that the majority of millennials misunderstand the courtesy that is ‘eye contact + greeting’. Or maybe it’s just me and my self-centered ways, or maybe it’s not and you too struggle with being present for other’s sake. If the latter is the case, then my day’s encounter will tickle you nicely.
Back to my daydream, I mean hope for connection… I went along on my merry way after breakfast, checking off a lengthy list of tasks including locating old pictures on a hard drive (I need to organize that!), editing and printing photos at Costco, framing and hanging artwork, vacuuming the house, dishes, bank stop, buying a nightstand at one of three nearby stores, birthday gift shopping for my mother-in-law, and ensuring that dinner was on the table early since Travis had an event at night. Normally when I am on a mission, I have my head down, blood pressure up, and eyes focused on the next stop. I’m out to prove that I will conquer and succeed. But today was different.
When I arrived at the store to pick up a gift for my mother-in-law, the sales associate was moving slowly. Instead of speaking in quick short sentences to convey my hurry, I inserted many pauses and asked lots of questions that I didn’t actually need answers to. We ended up having a drawn out conversation about serving others, caring about the people in your life, and Africa (a common topic with me lately). I accidentally made her cry when I told her what a difference she makes in people’s lives and that she is a really great grandmother. Then she hugged me. Three times. Twice over the counter. I walked out of the store feeling weirdly giddy for having just dropped a fair amount of money; I then drove along on to my next stop.
I live right down the street from Ikea which is both a blessing and a curse. It affords me the luxury of scooting down on whim to skim the As-Is section, but it also affords me the curse of scooting down the street and skimming the As-Is section. Anyone else sometimes lose their train of thought when shopping? That happened to me today. I went into Ikea after the birthday gift stop to see if there were any nightstands in the As-Is section. Then I left with two pillows, three storage containers, a spray bottle (why did I buy this?!), and a standing laptop desk… all not from the As-Is section. Oh and that stinking blue bag that we all own too many of, I got another one of those too. Carrying the stuff to my car I became distracted by the need to ‘tetris the trunk’ to transport home my purchases. Hazy-brain mode took over and I drove straight home, right out of the parking lot that has the bank and my beloved Costco. Carried my new goodies upstairs and started assembling the random laptop stand, when bam I recalled my two missed errand stops. Jumped into my sneakers and took off on foot down the street to hit Costco and the bank. Yes, I actually live that close.
On my way home I noticed a man crouching over his dog, not picking up poop, but inspecting the underside of the animal. I said “hello” (the full word) and heard no reply. So I stopped and asked if everything was okay. The man did a double take and said he thought his canine friend was injured. So I asked if they needed anything or if there was anything I could do to help. The answer was a quick and jabby “no” so I continued on my way home. I didn’t get to help him, didn’t need to rush them to an emergency vet, and I definitely did not have to chase the dog down the street like I envisioned earlier in the day. But I did get to make eye contact and let my neighbor know that I see him, I see his need, and I am available for him.
It wasn’t until this evening as I was cleaning up the dishes and pushing Travis out of the house to his event that I realized my prayers were answered. I didn’t wish for the moon or to win the lottery, I asked for an opportunity to love on and connect with my neighbors. And I received it.
Some may argue that my subconscious took over and led me to engage on a deeper level. Some may say that it’s coincidence or that I was trying harder to be intentional and kind. And some may say that I am over-spiritualizing my connections. People can say what they want to say, but I think that people and these everyday moments matter to God. And when my prayer is for the things that truly matter in this world, those prayer are quick to be answered. Now I’m hoping, wishing, and praying that my desires continue to grow for the things with eternal value. Those things are far most satisfying anyways. Now excuse me while I go return my storage containers that I don’t have room for anyways.
