Marketing Principles from Vanilla Ice
Yeah, I went there…
If you look at the lyrics to “Ice, Ice Baby” you might wonder if Vanilla Ice spent some time in a corporate marketing department. Let’s start with the first verse:
All right stop, collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo, I don’t know
Turn off the lights and I’ll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.
Translation:
Focus, work together, and listen to your customer
Reinvent yourself, innovate
Find your passion
Cut through the friction, work day and night
Don’t worry about the end — focus on the present
Overcome adversity through internal strength
Bring it
And beat your competition
Who knew?
Let’s see the second verse:
Dance, go rush the speaker that booms
I’m killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly, when I play a dope melody
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it, you better gain way
You better hit bull’s eye, the kid don’t play
Translation:
Use activity to engage people
Don’t make them think too hard
Be serious about your work
Be committed
You have to be all in or all out
Focus — stay on target
Not too shabby…
Vanilla hits the chorus and teaches us a lesson in having a good hook:
If there was a problem, yo, I’ll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves itIce Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla, Ice Ice Baby Vanilla
Translation:
A good hook, creative branding, and a catchy beat can solve a lot of problems
Now he’s rolling
Verse 3:
Now that the party is jumping
With the bass kicked in, and the Vegas are pumpin’
Quick to the point, to the point, no faking
Cooking MCs like a pound of bacon
Burning them they ain’t quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal
And a hi hat with a souped up tempo
I’m on a roll and it’s time to go solo
Rollin’ in my 5.0
With my ragtop down so my hair can blow
The girlies on standby, waving just to say, “Hi!”
Did you stop? No, I just drove by
Kept on pursuing to the next stop
I busted a left and I’m heading to the next block
That block was dead Yo
So I continued to A1A Beachfront Ave.
Translation:
Once you get things going
Achieving a rhythm will keep you from faltering
Keep your competition guessing — and try bacon, it’s yummy
Be faster and more agile than your competitors
Ummm…. Hmmm… don’t get distracted by your ego?
Avoid distraction and carry on
If demand lags — try localization!
You may see this as a stretch — I call it art and cymbalism ;)
Verse 4:
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis
Jealous ’cause I’m out getting mine
Shay with a gauge and Vanilla with a nine
Ready for the chumps on the wall
The chumps acting ill because they’re so full of “Eight Ball”
Gunshots ranged out like a bell
I grabbed my nine, all I heard was shells
Falling on the concrete real fast
Jumped in my car, slammed on the gas
Bumper to bumper, the avenue’s packed
I’m trying to get away before the jackers jack
Police on the scene, you know what I mean
They passed me up, confronted all the dope fiends
Translation:
When things start to crumble turn to advertising staples
Sex sells
So do hot cars
If that fails, try violence and drugs (not personally… er, moving on)
Car chases are cool … though not in bumper to bumper traffic!?
When all else fails — blame someone else
One more verse!
#5:
Take heed, ’cause I’m a lyrical poet
Miami’s on the scene just in case you didn’t know it
My town, that created all the bass sound
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
’Cause my style’s like a chemical spill
Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel
Conducted and formed, this is a hell of a concept
We make it hype and you want to step with this
Shay plays on the fade, slice like a ninja
Cut like a razor blade so fast, other DJs say, “Damn.”
If my rhyme was a drug, I’d sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it’s time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice
Translation:
Once desperation sets in you are likely to repeat yourself
You can try reconnecting locally
Or playing on history and culture
But at this point the strategy is full of holes
Reassess your vision
Try a reorg
Hype is not going to get you out of this
And adding Ninjas is just jumping the shark :(
It may be time to consider other employment (drug dealer may be extreme)
Keep calm and get the hell out
Shiny objects may distract people while you escape
BRILLIANCE!
Vanilla Ice — Marketing Master
