infinité

everyone has a drug that keeps them alive,
for some it’s cigarettes, the feeling of smoke flowing through their lungs and surrounding the air around which they walk.
for some it’s sex, the intimate embrace of bodies performing in an interpreted dance that has no rules or bounds.
for some it’s life, the sun shining through the windows of struggle we go through each and every day and cling onto it’s joyful remembrance of a time when we first were young.
the definition of a drug is vague; it can be a material object, an action, or simply a choice we make.

I think everything in our lives is a drug, whether it’s a glass of wine we drink after enjoying a blunt after leaving another in a puddle of ecstasy and eyes rolled back as I roll back the sheets and say my good nights.

For almost all my life I’ve struggled with clinical depression, at some points barely able to grasp onto life itself and suicide being the cusp that either makes or breaks the great climax of this personal tale. However with that sharp divide, also comes a great connection to the very aspects of self and life that seemingly keep me together.

I may be on this earth for one hundred years, I may be on it for twenty one, but at the end of the day I choose my actions based on what I want my tale to be and I can safely say that so far it’s been an enjoyable one despite the roadblocks I’ve encountered alone the way.

I have some amazing friends, amazing family, amazing girls, amazing pets, amazing accomplishments, and so many other amazing strides towards what I want this tale to eventually be.

Drugs are defined by what you make of them and if you let any one aspect of your life become unhealthy. So enjoy every thing that keeps you alive and don’t fall off that deep end. I plan to do so.