December 22, 2021 ~ For Alex
It feels like a blip in time when I saw you last. It felt so good to see you after all this time. I believe you’re in Europe at the moment, if I remember correctly. I try to remember as much as humanly possible, but that is age for you. Speaking of aging, I’m glad you thought I was younger than my 43 years when we were all at dinner a few weeks ago. Trust me, my body certainly feels a lot older and I have to make certain I stretch and take breaks. As a matter of fact, I’ve been thinking a lot about your relationship to water, rest, sanctuary, and care. Recently, I’ve been slowly but surely building up my every day rituals to keep me grounded. I read tarot (to study, actually) as much as I can and also it’s my way of being in dialogue with the universe. For me, the tarot is a lexicon of the supernatural. It’s a way for our guides to speak with us.
A quick pivot, but related to the things in my life that serve as my sanctuary, since I started grad school again, I fell in love with plants and flowers. They weren’t things I particular cared for or enjoyed when I was younger. I always felt that had to do with growing up in the City (having been born and raised in San Francisco, CA), concrete, tall buildings, MUNI, and BART trains were what I grew accustomed to. As a full fledged adult with an aging (but still energetic and witty) mom, nature doesn’t scare me as much as it did when I was a kid. As a matter of fact, our fellowship inspired me to purchase The California Field Atlas by Obi Kaufmann. Admittedly, I love how he paints and writes about California through the four elements: earth, air, fire, and water. I know you see a theme here with the spell books I’ve been working on! 😉
Yet one of my favorite places of all time since I was a child was the beach. When my father was alive, that was one of his favorite places to go and unwind. As a child, he used to take me to Fort Mason and Crissy field just so I could run around and ride my bike. I have fond memories of the breeze of the Pacific letting its presence be known to me as it caressed my face as I rode my bike faster and faster. I would ride until my father was a dot in the distance, then turn right back around and repeat until he told me it was time to go home.
The other day, I was thinking back on the year and, subsequently, my life. You know, I’ve never lived anywhere else but the Bay Area. Unless you count the time I lived in the UK for a month (eye opening, for sure) and it was for an ex. Any way, I bring this up because I miss traveling. I miss seeing the world and learning about different places. My immediate family have all immigrated to the US from the Philippines and there’s no real need to travel to see them. While I have relatives in Scotland and England, I don’t know them and would feel strange just showing up. I bring all of this up because I’ve been thinking about what sanctuary means to me. Since you co-facilitated one of our meetings with Ayodele, I’ve been trying to build up what that looks like for me. Your desire to create something based in my favorite element, which is water (even though I’m an air sign 😆) is something I’m very much looking forward to and want to support in any way I can. There’s always so much to say, but I’ll stop here since I’m going to wind down for the evening and get ready for bed. Thank you for reminding me what care and love for oneself looks and feels like. I have to take care of myself so I can be of service to others. So much gratitude, love, and hugs to you.
On the digital thread of the time-space continuum, here is a post from December 22, 2011.
