June 24, 2021 ~ For Angela W.
It was lovely *running* into you today, well, virtually. I had a blast watching and listening to the presentations of the Creative Capital (CC) grantees. I wish I was able to catch the entire artist retreat, but I was thrilled to be there today and be present. All of the projects are incredible and I’m excited and thrilled to do what I can to help support and uplift the work. I still have yet to experience and play The Uncasted Queen and Her Progeny (2020). Despite the past year and a half, I’m thrilled you were a CC recipient. I don’t think I need to say this, but I’ve always been such a huge fan of your work. While we haven’t been able to spend as much time together, the times we have spent together have been memorable to me. I remember reading your cards at the rose garden in Berkeley. Or, driving to Point Arena together. I also remember you being there for me when I was going through heartbreak too. I don’t forget things like that and I so deeply appreciate and admire you so very much. It’s also been wonderful to think back on reflections and writing of your work The Game: The Game (2016–2019). I remember playing that game late at night in my kitchen and being scared. The combination of the imagery and the score was so incredibly tense. Also, some of the lines from the game, I’ve heard. Many women and femmes have heard and I guess that’s why the work is not only necessary, but important for all people to play and experience (and to discuss).
Do you remember the article I wrote for Real Life magazine? I, normally, don’t share the editorial process I go through with artists I write about, but it’s been a few years. I thought you might find something interesting that happened during the editing process. By the way, I totally respect the editor and we had great exchanges, but there was track that he was going down that I absolutely disagreed with, which was the that the game allows for sympathy for the pick-up artist (PUA). I remember reading that marginal note and thinking, “Oh no! Not at all.” I respectfully disagreed, but it made me wonder why he would have thought that. I mean, the music score alone already alludes to a particular tone (to me, that is sinister). In any case, he also didn’t play the game, which, in hindsight, is probably why he was trying to play Devil’s Advocate with me. To this day, I still don’t really know why he asked me to explore that more in my writing. Admittedly, that was one of the first times I put my foot down on a particular direction to take writing I’ve done. I’ve definitely grown and evolved since that time and I’m far more critical when it comes to debating than I ever was. Even 5 years ago, I didn’t really have the confidence to say something like, “I see you’re point, but I would like to respectfully disagree.” I mean, honestly, I still try my absolute best to be accommodating to people because I feel it’s in my nature to do so. Yet, I guess, when I feel discomfort, I’m much more aware and less afraid to express myself. Still working on sustaining the confidence. On bad days, I definitely feel like an impostor (still).
I need to visit Pittsburgh again! I told Tom I want to visit and take him up on his offer to host me for a writing retreat (it would be great to work on my dissertation in different places of the country and even the world). I’m doing all that I can to make certain I stick to my calendar. I’m scheduled (this is in accordance with what I’ve agreed upon with my committee chair) to defend spring 2023. I’m trying to time things as best as I can. As I mentioned during our chat, I’m going to be teaching in this fall (fingers crossed everything works out regarding teaching the class I proposed). I’m most certainly going to be sharing your work with students and colleagues. Circling back around, I’m trying to fit travel back into my schedule for 2022, for sure. I didn’t even get a chance to see you when I was in Pittsburgh in fall 2019. I want to meet the baby and your partner. I can’t wait to hug you in person. I should try and connect with you, but I know you’re so busy. Either way, thank you for all you do. Keep shining and I hope we get to see each other soon and if not in person. I would love to hop on zoom and see the baby. Hugs! xoxo
On the digital thread of the time-space continuum, here is a post from June 24, 2011.
