14 Not-So-Glorious Moments Leading Up To England’s Glorious Revolution
14. Sumptuary Laws (1547)
Published in
4 min readSep 27, 2016
- The old nobility is freaking out because of all this new wealth in England, since people are becoming more educated and less economically reliant on nobles
- Nobles institute Sumptuary Laws, which are basically a national dress code to make sure lower class people don’t dress fancily
13. King James I pisses everyone off (1603–1625)
- Believed in the Divine Right of Kings and claimed that his power came from God, not his people
- Was a Calvinist who offended Catholics, Puritans, Jesuits, Anglicans, and even Calvinists for how he dealt with the church
12. Gunpowder Plot (1605)
- A bunch of Catholics are pissed off about losing power, so they try to blow up Parliament in the Gunpowder Plot
- This plan fails and only makes England more critical of Catholics
11. Charles I marries a Catholic from France (1625)
- At this point, there are few things England hates more than Catholics or French people
- Charles I has a rough start to his monarchy when he marries a Catholic sister of Louis XIII of France
10. Long Parliament (1640–1653)
- Charles I is waging lots of wars and needs Parliament’s permission to spend this money, but when Scotland revolts, Parliament refuses to disband
- Normally, Parliament is summoned by the king and then disbands, but in the Long Parliament, they refuse to disband and stay in session for 13 years in order to retain power
9. English Civil War breaks out between Roundheads and Cavaliers when Ireland revolts (1642–1649)
- Charles I and Parliament get in an argument over who will lead the troops against Irish Catholic armies invading England, and so they end up fighting each other instead of fighting Ireland
- Cavaliers are supporters of Charles I (Cavaliers = Charles) while Roundheads support parliament
8. Levellers claim “God made men and the Devil made kings” (1646)
- The Levellers emerge as a group of radical Protestants who are fed up with England’s struggling economy and deteriorating morality
- They try to make the Roundheads and Parliament reform by allowing all men to vote and paying members of Parliament so that people could serve even if they didn’t have their own independent wealth
7. Rump Parliament brings Charles I to trial for treason and cuts off his head (1649)
- After Charles I is captured, Parliament is reluctant to bring him to trial for treason, so Roundheads remove all members of Parliament who oppose the trial and create the Rump Parliament, who all are in favor of the trial
- Charles I is tried for his belief in the Divine Right of Kings, and even though he refuses to answer any questions, he is executed in front of a crowd at Whitehall Palace
6. England becomes a Republic led by the Rump Parliament called the Commonwealth (1649–1653)
- Charles’ execution only leads to more chaos and disorder as people freak out about their king being killed
- The military leader of the Roundheads, Oliver Cromwell, at least has control of the military and shuts down protests in Scotland and Ireland
5. Oliver Cromwell becomes Lord Protector of the Commonwealth and England becomes a Military Dictatorship (1653–1658)
- Parliament is struggling to gain order and becomes afraid of how strong Cromwell’s army is becoming, so they try to dismantle it
- Instead, Cromwell disbands Parliament and names himself Lord Protector of the Commonwealth in what essentially a military dictatorship
- Cromwell has a very strict rule where things like cock fights, horse races, and theater are banned in order to uphold Puritan ideals
4. Cromwell dies and people decide to go back to the monarchy with Charles II (1660)
- Cromwell’s son Richard is weak and resigns, which makes Parliament decide to re-institute the monarchy with Charles I’s son, Charles II and everyone celebrates a return to normalcy
- Charles II has the same problems as his dad: financial struggles, conflict between Puritans seeking reform and Catholics seeking rights, and even plague and fires in London
3. Charles II is a closet Catholic and pisses everyone off (1673)
- England is still mostly Protestsant, and Charles II is giving too many rights to Catholics for their taste
- Parliament passes the Test Act requiring all public officials to swear allegiance to Protestantism
- Even though Charles II is a Protestant his whole life, he converts to Catholicism on his deathbed
2. His brother James II is an open Catholic, so Parliament brings in William and Mary for a Glorious Revolution (1688) and passes a Bill of Rights (1689)
- Charles II’s brother, James II is an open Catholic, and when his wife gives birth to a Catholic heir, Parliament freaks out
- Enter William of Orange and Mary, James II’s Protestant daughter, who enter with a fleet and army in 1688
- James II remembers what happened to Charles I, and wisely chooses to retreat to France to chill with Louis XIV in Versailles instead of starting another English Civil War
- William works with Parliament to make a Bill of Rights in 1689 so that England can be firmly established as a Constitutional Monarchy and live happily ever after…
1. Except William ruthlessly kills a bunch of Irish Catholics who rebel (1689)
- The Irish, who are very Catholic, saw James II as a kind of hero and try to regain the throne for him
- William ruthlessly shuts them down and makes Ireland be reduced to a colony and lets Englishmen take over their land