All Hallmark Movies
A movie review of every movie that has ever played on the Hallmark movie channel.
Or what do you watch after a Liam Neeson movie?
I rarely watch the Hallmark movie channel. But when I do, it’s usually to detox from a massive intake of violent content, like the xXx movies with Vin Diesel or any Liam Neeson film. Also, any movie containing a body count over 30.
The Hallmark movie channel contains only one movie. This one movie has many titles but only one plot.
General plot dynamics:
Boy meets girl. There are no LGBTQ people in Hallmark land.
Bad dialogue with no sex, no hint of sex, no illusion that anyone possesses any sexual organs.
Beautiful setting containing a ranch, farm, vineyard or 12 room family home.
SLOWLY……. they fall in love.
Then there’s some form of strife:
Hallmark strife equals —
The inability to catch a flirtatious move.
A fear of commitment.
One side of the couple will have to move away.
She’s just too clueless to fall for a guy like him or vice versa.
