SATIRE
Arguing With Idiots
Your guide to dealing with friends and relatives over the holidays
When it comes to conversing with the feeble-minded — those simpletons who choose to live in an alternate universe of invented facts and magical thinking — we now require a new modus operandi.
We find ourselves in largely uncharted territory heading into the silly season, where up is down and down is up, so it’s important that we find something to hold onto lest we drift off into the abyss.
In addition to dealing with the always precarious mix of tryptophan, alcohol, fat soaked bread, pumpkin custard and wayward family members, there is always the high probability that you will at some point be cornered by one or more idiots and asked to engage in a presumably civil conversation which is almost guaranteed to drive you insane.
You are going to need a new strategy.
There is no point in employing logic when arguing with someone who makes up their own facts, so if we are ever going to engage with conservatives, cousins or carnies ever again, we will need a better game plan.
