Digressions Of An Old Man
Curmudgeon Report from “The Foothills of Old Age”
“We humans surf our lives on an Ocean of Time. Sometimes we’re stoked and shredding the epic crest. Sometimes we get thrown riding a phat tube. And sometimes we’re just swallowing water from a rogue wave.
A corduroy of swells is always coming in from the horizon. Beware the ankle busters. The dings on your board are forever increasing. Do what you can—stay amped, hang ten, curve, charge, stay in the soup, make like a washing machine, or if necessary at the moment, bail. But never forget that what awaits is the ultimate wipeout.”
— Zĕna Kōan, wahini kahuna (woman surfer, shaman)
Reporting From That Place Known As Better-Than-The-Alternative
Forewarning to ye Mortality Deniers who are ever ready to apply your Pollyanna Unguents (“the 70s are the new 50s”) (“you’re only as old as you feel”) unto all symptoms of Decrepitude —please . . . peddle that jive elsewhere! Proclaiming that the onward march of Feebleness is “better than the alternative” shows a pretty desperate grasping for straws from the Positive Thinking column.
Through that thin whitewash, I see that the U.S. Life Expectancy continues to fall.
To everything there is a season sez Ecclesiastes—and I have certainly been known to utilize placebos. And while a…
