In Search of Steadiness. Guilt, Shame and Future Regret When Consuming and Creating Art.
An opinion and self-investigation. Exploring identity, anxiety, and the art of self-sabotage.
When it comes to art and intellect, guilt comes down to shame. Shame of not being able to show who we “really are” or “want to be”, as well as an internalised sense of failure to accomplish and give birth to who we really are, who we want to be.
Shame, guilt, and success can then amalgamate to a deeper regret even. We were after all told since childhood: be careful what you wish for, or you just might get it.
When Reece Beckett asked me what I thought about quitting a book halfway, I was divided: on one side I think it’s fair and natural, if not productive; on the other I myself know very well the guilt I feel when I abandon a read, or the constant wondering on the possibility of the book becoming more interesting with time. Which has happened.
If I had never pushed through Letters to Milena (Franz Kafka), I’d have missed learning a lot about love. Or the way I, for better or for worse, love.
Mindfulness and acceptance might help get over the “quitters” guilt, but then it isn’t easy. Especially when it comes down to the equivocal act of not…
