Tempus Fugit: Regretting Wasted Time In Life
A song about that most precious and perishable of things
I wanted to share with you a favorite song, an oldie, that has been even more present in my churning mind than usual. I literally can’t get it out of my head these past few days, so I fear that the only way to dilute its presence is to talk about it here, and explain what it means to me.
It’s a song my brother called to my attention several years ago. Although very familiar with the Crosby, Stills, Nash (and occasionally added Young) oeuvre, I had for some reason never heard it until then.
I later learned that Graham Nash wrote it as a way of expressing regret at the distance the group had created amongst themselves in years past, due to artistic differences and the competing claims on their time and attention resulting from their individual solo careers. This was just before they got back together for the Daylight Again album of 1982.
But for me — and, I suspect, others who love this song, particularly those of us cognizant of time passing and getting older — it resonates on a deeper level.
Wasted On The Way, I believe, can be felt as a song about looking back on years past and realizing the fruitlessness and waste of certain spans of time. Time that could have been spent, instead, doing better — or in any case braver — things.
Too much time spent in the wrong job, or a job that became wrong over time. Too much time spent in the wrong relationships. Too much time spent planning or hesitating or procrastinating, and not doing. Too much time spent merely consuming, and not building, creating, savouring. Too much time wasted loving or admiring or following the wrong people, and not enough time showing love to the persons who deserved it most (the last stanza of the song):
So much love to make up
Everywhere you turn
Love we have wasted on the way
So much water moving
Underneath the bridge
Let the water come and carry us away
Hindsight is easy of course. And it’s true that if you don’t make mistakes in life, if you don’t on occasion, even for months or years, “waste” time in the wrong directions, you might not be in the better, happier place you might be fortunate enough to be in today.
But it’s only natural for us, especially looking back, to want to have optimized our counted moments on this earth, in this life. To have spent time well, and not have the feeling of having wasted any of it.
Yes, it’s unrealistic, and what is past is past. But for me it’s still a noble feeling. Time, we increasingly understand as more of it gets behind us, and especially as we enter the Autumn of our years, is precious. And to not want to waste anything precious is human.
I’m no student of philosophy. But one day, years ago, I came across a quote from the Buddha (about whom, for the rest of it, I know almost nothing). The words in the quote really resonated with me, even long before they would deeply affect me:
When asked: “What’s the biggest mistake we make in life?” the Buddha replied: “The biggest mistake is you think you have time..” Time is free but it’s priceless. You can’t own it but you can use it. You can’t keep it but you can spend it.”
We think that as we move forward in life, we keep learning, and we get better at avoiding mistakes. And yet, hiding in plain sight, we often fail to see that we are making the biggest mistake of all. I think that is the real message, for me, of the song.
Well, that insight was not perhaps the exact intention of the wonderful musician who wrote its music and lyrics. But I think the song and those ancient words mesh rather beautifully.
So… here goes in sharing this with those here on Medium, and those reading it elsewhere, who might be looking for some inspiration.
For some insightful stillness among the noise. For some appreciation, perhaps mostly retrospective, of what time — and, inevitably, regret — is all about in a life. And how we might still have a bit of time, what’s left of it, to use it as wisely as we can.
And if that doesn’t do it for you, you have to admit that the vocal harmonies, as with all CSY(Y) songs, are lovely to say the least.
Tempus fugit. Make the most of it.
