Serious Humor
The Only Superfood I Know
Tried and tested — in barrels
Think of our lives.
We spend most of our time doing jobs which give us nothing but money. And not much money. We spend the remaining time passively, doing chores or watching content. And the last one-third of it in sleeping. A basic thing like sound sleep itself is moving towards extinction. Like a lot of other good free things in life. There’s a lack of fulfillment in our existing relationships. And, there’s a lack of relationships. It almost seems like, for every new smartphone produced, there’s one less human relationship out there. We are frustrated, depressed, jealous, empty, and meaningless. And I am talking about the lucky ones.
Not the 30% or so who don’t know where their next meal will come from or are dying in war zones cause some politician in some country had an upset stomach. People whose every day will be a struggle till they die. They will never have Sundays. They are for sure far from a life where they will pay $5 to read Medium’s stories.
Have you wondered why they don’t just give up? Why haven’t more people thought that, Hey I have lived for 30 years. I am not enjoying it. It doesn’t seem to be getting better. Will see next time. Why hasn’t suicide become mainstream? At a global rate of 0.01%, how are we achieving Six Sigma with something as chaotic and random as life?
What does keep us going? Apart from paying mortgages.
HOPE.
For a better car.
For a better future.
For a better country.
For a better politician.
For a better boyfriend next time.
For a better wife next time.
For more food tomorrow.
For better sex tomorrow.
For better weather.
For better health.
And when everything fails — for a better future for the next generation.
This is why the ads I hate most are the misleading ones that target vulnerable parents, who will do anything to secure their kids’ future.
As you can see from the kicker and the publication, I intended to make this funny. I don’t know what happened.
I know one Superfood. A powerful elixir. Gift of the Gods. Human’s most potent invention to save mankind.
The superfood that gives INSTANT HOPE — alcohol.
And this is why I love it.
Alcohol makes you happy, even if for a short time.
It gives you hope, even if for a short time.
It gives you courage, even if under influence. Because sometimes that is all you need. A few seconds of simple, foolish courage.
It makes you the best version of yourself.
Maybe they were right in Another Round — A human being’s performance is at an optimum level with two drinks in their system.
So you don’t need motivation books or yoga mats or green tea in your life. You need alcohol. In moderation. And love. Not in moderation.
Life lessons
Cause it’s a trending topic. People intake random life lessons like it’s free shots on a Ladies Night. They forget that while it’s free, it’s also cheap.
Here’s some more cheap advice-
- Everything in life is figuroutable — you manage to get alcohol on dry days, don’t you.
- Most things in life get better with time — your hangover recedes by evening, doesn’t it.
- You realize the world is full of good people — waiters give you a shoulder when you are too drunk to stand knowing fully well you could puke on them any moment.
Conclusion
Cheers!
This is a casual story for casual drinkers. If drinking doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t work for you.
This story was a follow up for Green Tea & Stupid Humans
