Counter Arts
Published in

Counter Arts

The Seductive Art of Communication


Photo by Farrinni on Unsplash

Dysfunctional. Disturbed. Unloving. These are some of the words I’d hear when I wouldn’t communicate all that well. It used to feel strange. Come on, I’d say, I talk to myself all the time. I have countless thoughts. Hidden behind micro-expressions, there were my thoughts, like hidden stars in the morning sky. Available to me and nobody else.

I didn’t communicate very well in the past. It took me a long time to get to the point where a lightbulb went on and I started realizing communication is key. That mantra is a basic fundamental truth for all relationships, including the one with myself.

When I share, I am engulfed.

Intimacy in communication

A few years ago, the media tools started using a technique called sexualizing. Attracting the eye to what the message was by coating it up with sex. Ads, magazines, products. If something needed to be sold, the poster would be providing a sexual setting. It could not be ignored. The news, the waiter, the mannequins. You got it.
Then, came Instagram. Needless to add something here.

Intimacy was a lost word. For me, it was as lost as the Atlantis. I didn’t have the time to learn it before the world started being one big selling show. I learned how to dress, how people behaved, what pretty privilege is.

And then… I grew up.

And I loved people but couldn’t guide them to it. And sex was ugly to me. A dark room where you don’t know what the hell is going on. You don’t know shit. It is dysfunctional and it is empty. When I haven’t allowed my body, and soul to experience opening up. Letting the tongue roll out to say words that are buried in the shoulder blades. That is the holy grail.

Being intimate is… naming the moles of the person you love after flowers. Losing yourself in a person by surrendering to it. Being intimate is diving in the ocean. It’s knowing the person next to you is not perfect, knowing why and not exposing them to more pain. You are intimate with humanity, the simple yet loving we’re here. Being intimate is… knowing what happened in someone’s past while you’re living in a glorious present with them. Knowing which parts from the past make their voice crack.

You find this in the conversations before bed. When you hear about someone’s day. In that hour, you can see them as they are. Communication is intimate… It is a cord.

I had realized I was communicating intimately and truly with my person after a few days. It hit me like a wave in the face. That, oh, it’s hard to talk about this but I will, regardless. That’s it. It’s the space where sharing encounters trust.

How much I love you, you’ll never know. And if I don’t tell you, I will choke.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
La Chrysanthème

La Chrysanthème

Sensitive energy requires kindness and art. For the muses of this world.