Wile E. Coyote Sucks At Rocket Science
But most people don’t even know what that means…
I have written about the Roadrunner and Coyote before. This topic is not completely unrelated. Wile E Coyote may be the worst attempted rocket scientist ever, keyword — attempted.
If I had that proverbial nickle for every time a business partner or client looked across a table and declared “this isn’t rocket science”, I’d have a lot more use for Coinstar. Honestly that nickle expression is just as bad. But you understand what I am saying… only, in the case of the rocket, you likely don’t.
What is Rocket Science?
No one ever asks this. They just like the expression and beat it like a proverbial dead horse. Why would you BEAT any horse? Were people that cruel… anyway, moving on.
Rocket Science is a series of simple equations that are strung together to model the path of a rocket from launch point A to destination point B. It is essentially a modeling exercise, followed by some general testing, and 3–2–1 off you go.
Now this may seem overly simple, but it isn’t. Not that rocket science is simple, it isn’t. It is highly complex. But describing it is very simple. In fact, describing it is so simple that computers routinely perform a whole lot of rocket science. They also do brain surgery… but that is another analogy. Brain Science on the other hand… well, we can get to that another day.
Rocket science is a process. We model the process. When we fail, outcomes can be catastrophic. This it shares with brain surgery. But then, the people using this expression aren’t referring to the risk levels…
Your business plan is more analogous to Rocket Science than you realize.
When you describe your business plan, it seems quite simple. It is a simple set of things that need to be strung together to move some program, product, or process from point A to point B. You just need someone to help you model out a few scenarios, double check an assumption, and 3–2–1 higher revenues. That sounds simple enough. Of course, so did rocket science.
The reality is that in any developed business, there is likely a lot to be considered. Business partners rarely have the patience for this. Worse still, they actually fear complexity. Admitting that any effort is going to be complicated seems like a nail in the coffin… a reference well past its prime.
Like Wile E Coyote, they have ambitions of ordering their rocket in the mail. A little rope and a helmet is added to keep thing safe. Now all they need is a match and they will catch that elusive Roadrunner! Or not…
When the first try fails, or better case is revealed to be ludicrous, they begin to adjust the form factors. Too hard to build a big rocket, how about a handful of smaller ones? That will be easier, right?
Smaller is not easier, but let’s keep going…
On second thought, Rocket Science doesn’t include a Roadrunner
At least to-date, no one at NASA has proposed chasing something as elusive as the Roadrunner. Rocket Science deals with the interplay of huge number of moving bodies and interacting forces, but they all obey a set number of rules. The biggest issue arises when an unknown rule begins to interfere with the calculations.
Poor Wile not only needs to work out the science, he is dealing with a moving target — one with a personality. Your business likely is, too. Roadrunner has a tendency to react in unexpected ways. Your customers, partners, employees, and others will make Roadrunner look like a walk in the park (an expression that predated hiking and urban park crime rates).
Learn to appreciate rocket science or those who do it.
Wile E Coyote could have used an outside consultant, someone with more patience and respect for the process. At a minimum, he could have learned to appreciate the complexities a bit more. In fairness, the Roadrunner seemed to defy most of the rules of physics… talk about a bad situation. Is that a request?
Stop trying to over simplify your plans. This may work in the boardroom but will never serve you anywhere else.
Stop using bad analogies and proverbs. You aren’t imparting any useful wisdom.
Find a rocket scientist. Someone who understands the space, appreciates the complexity, and can model your path from point A to your destination. But don’t hire anyone too desperate, anyone who believes the answer can come in a box, or anyone for whom the laws of physics seem to not apply. Good luck and thanks for reading!
