Club Soda, Two Limes

Sober social networking in a world of social drinking

The Mad Men era of advertising is long over (thank God), but the time-honored tradition of drinking at work events marches on. And as long as Bud Light is airing multimillion-dollar Super Bowl spots and vodka brands are making Cinnabon-flavored booze, that tradition’s not going anywhere.

Codeword operates at the intersection of media, advertising, startup, and tech cultures, all of which are fueled by intense networking. But “networking” in these industries isn’t done in boardrooms and classy mixers. It’s done at crazy SXSW events, startup spaces with craft beer taps in the kitchen, parties, and other events where alcohol flows freely.

Whether for health, personal, or religious reasons, some folks prefer their vodka sodas without the vodka. In an industry where drinking is not only commonplace but expected, non-drinkers face sometimes awkward (but sometimes funny) reactions. We asked our non-drinking coworkers to share their stories, tips, and quips.

“I love hanging out with drinkers! For exactly two hours. Everyone’s so much looser and chattier. But at two hours and one minute, I start having to listen to the same story or insightful thought on repeat. Personal space goes out the window. Breath gets stinky. Sometimes I think I can stick it out, but usually I’m out the door in the middle of the fourth time I’ve heard a story.”

“Honestly, people usually don’t care when I opt for a ginger ale over a whiskey ginger. And if they ask, I just say I’m on a cleanse.”

“I like to use my non-drinker status as a talking point when meeting new people. Shying away from booze or projecting discomfort might make you come off as judgemental or prude, but not if you’re open about it. It’s enhanced/humored if you walk around with a Nestle Quik or some other obviously non-alcoholic beverage.”

“I don’t drink, but I don’t mind hanging out with drinkers. My jokes land better with them.”

“This isn’t from a networking event, but the night I went to Drunk Shakespeare I was on antibiotics, so I couldn’t drink. One actor came around with free shots, and when I politely declined, he said, ‘I’ve never had anyone turn down a free shot of alcohol! What’s wrong with you?’ Like, really? No one? Stop shaming me!” [At least it was contextually appropriate shaming…”Drunk Shakespeare?” -ed]

“Pineapple juice and seltzer. Nobody will ask.”

“If I have a Diet Coke for every alcoholic beverage my friends drink, I’ll get sharper as they get sloppier (but I’ll pee just as much). Before I know it, it’s 2 a.m. and I’m still chatty and personable, and they’re wondering where my endless reserve of energy comes from. And best of all, I don’t feel like soggy garbage the next morning.”

“I’ve been asked if I’m pregnant — awkward.”