How can you get over imposter syndrome?

My route into software developing was arguably an unconventional one. At university I studied biochemistry, a biological subject well known within the field to attract maths phobics. In school my favourite subject was English literature — a comment not made by many tech geeks I know.

When I started my first job (on a graduate scheme with a large company) I remember, instead of feeling excited like many of my colleagues, I felt an absolute sense of terror and fear. — wondering how long it would take those around me to work out that I must have lied my way through my interviews, wasn’t ‘passionate enough about technology’ to be on the tech graduate scheme and had only really managed to get a degree because I had got lucky with the questions that had come up in the exams.

I was scared to interact with my colleagues, terrified that they would spend the whole time wondering how I had managed to get this job when I was clearly not competent enough to do it. In meetings I kept as silent as possible. I backed down easily as I was sure that everyone else in the room must know heaps more than me. I struggled to ask questions because it would expose how little I knew and confirm what everyone was thinking; what was this girl doing in this role? When friends and family asked, I would be deliberately vague about my job, its title and what I did as I was worried that my dark secret — that I was a fake and didn’t deserve to be where I was — would be exposed.

For me, being the one without a degree in computer science in a place where it was assumed that I would have one, was a big deal. I didn’t know it at the time but looking back I had ‘Imposter syndrome’ in a big way. Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments or talents and has a persistent internalised fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Since discovering imposter syndrome I have learnt that it is exceptionally common, prevalent across many fields — notably academia (a lot of my old biochemistry professors had it I am sure) and can often arise from new work environments. Feeling like an imposter in itself is perhaps not a bad thing but this can often be accompanied by anxiety, stress, low mood and (the one I personally experienced the most) a lack of ability to relax at work — overthinking everything I said and questioning my intelligence constantly.

Often, when I meet friends who have started new jobs, I find myself mentioning imposter syndrome to them as I think they need to know that they are not the only person feeling the way they are. The aim of this article is to raise awareness of the existence of imposter syndrome. I think that knowing what it is and being able to identify if you have it is very helpful in being able to deal with it.

I have heard different advice on how to deal with imposter syndrome. I have included a few of my favourite pieces in this article — the ones that I have found the most useful myself.

Being mindful of its existence

This one feels a little obvious. However, in moments of self-doubt remembering that it could be your lack of belief in yourself rather than everyone else’s lack of belief in you, can be enough to give you the confidence you might be lacking in that moment.

Acknowledging your own achievements

This one is about changing your perspective. I remember a conversation I had with my mother once. I said the only reason I got a job was because I knew the format of the interview ahead of time, having read it on glass doors (a popular website in which previous candidates share their opinions on interviews). She responded by pointing out that the interviewers most likely knew the information was available on glass doors. However, you still had to make the effort to get the interview in the first place and have the initiative to find ways to prepare ahead of time, all of which display skills needed in a role such as software development. It is about recognising that it is not just luck, but that a lot of effort has been made on your part as well.

Fake it till you make it

This is a phrase I am sure you have heard many times throughout the years and there is a reason for it. Throughout my time as a developer there have been so many times that my initial impression of a colleague’s competence has been built, not upon the quality of their work, but on the confidence of their delivery. Because surely only those who really were that good would be that confident? I think one look at a certain Ex-American president is enough to see that confidence and competence do not necessarily go hand in hand….

Imposter syndrome is far more about how you see yourself, its a reflection on your own feelings, but not how the others see you. Take a deep breath and ask that question, confidently, and quite often you will find the person next to you thinking ‘thank God I wasn’t the only one who was wondering that’. Faking confidence, will portray to the rest of the world (and often to yourself) confidence. And in the end, it is you who really needs to believe it!

So there you have it, sure I might have inflated my interest in react frameworks during some interviews and used the word ‘passionate’, when ‘I read up on it beforehand’ was perhaps more truthful or accurate. Despite this, now when someone asks me what I do for a living, I look them in the eye and tell them. I am an AWESOME software engineer, I give them details about my job and where I work, Integrations team, one of the core teams at CoverWallet. And it’s because I believe it (mostly..)