6 Things You Need to Do for Yourself Before You Can Worry About Anyone Else

We lead our lives for many, many different reasons. But, for most of us, at least part of the reason we get out of bed every morning is to help other people. There is something inherently reassuring about that — that most of us are at least in part living our lives to serve others, whether it be through our work, our hobbies, our family life, or our relationships.

But it is also true that many of us get ahead of ourselves. We focus on helping, serving, and leading others before we are even close to having our own shit together. And that decreases the long-term impact we can have on others we seek to serve.

First, above all else, we must learn to take care of ourselves. Because you can’t help to improve anyone else’s life until you take the time to improve your own.

Here are 6 things you need to do for yourself before you can worry about helping anyone else.

1. Take care of the little things

There is a reason this video has 5.4 million views and millions more in other places. The takeaway is simple, yet profound. Admiral William H. McRaven tells the group of college graduates in front of him, “If you want to change the world, start by making your bed.”

The reason? It gives you a small win to start your day. And that small win inspires other wins

McRaven continues, “If you can’t do the little things right, you will never be able to do the big things right.”

I am a firm believer that this is 100% true.

And it goes far beyond making your bed.

Before you can do the big things, you need to be able to make your bed every day. You need to make and stick to a budget. You need to eat well and exercise to stay healthy. You need a regular sleep schedule. You need to be on time, every time.

Worry about the little things first. Doing them well will allow you to tackle the big things later.

2. Be honest with yourself

I once attended a talk at a leadership conference from one of the top lawyers in the state of Florida. During the talk, he had every attendee write down their life’s biggest secret on an index card.

His advice? “Once you have the courage to share what is on your card with the world, you will be able to live the life of which you are capable.”

I’m willing to bet that many people in the room couldn’t even write down what was truly their biggest secret, even though it wouldn’t be shared with anyone else.

Before we can have the absolute honesty required to be a great servant of other people, we need to learn to be honest with ourselves.

What lies are you telling yourself every day? What weaknesses are you too afraid to admit? What secrets do you have buried that you haven’t allowed yourself to confront?

Only when you are able to be 100% honest with yourself will you be able to build the life you can imagine.

3. Become a lifelong learner

Too often we feel as if we should already have all of the answers — that we should already possess all of the necessary knowledge to get the job done. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Successful people are exactly that because they continue to learn — not because of what they already know.

As Carol Dweck advocates, you need to take the time to develop a growth mindset — the belief that knowledge can be obtained and our brains can grow to solve new problems. This comes in direct opposition to a fixed mindset, in which we believe we know what we know and if we approach a new problem too difficult we do not believe in our ability to learn something new in order to solve it.

Once you understand you have the ability to continually learn, you need to commit to actually doing it.

Before an early mentor of mine was moving across the country for a new job I asked him what was the best piece of advice he could offer me. His response? “Find smart people and read their books.”

It’s not a secret. Successful people read. But, even more correct in today’s day and age, successful people consume content. Read books. Read articles. Watch videos. Listen to podcasts. Attend talks.

Consume content in order to become a lifelong learner.

4. Find mentors

Another aspect of becoming a lifelong learner is surrounding yourself with people from whom you can learn.

You will never grow if you are always the smartest person in the room.

You need to find mentors who are way, way, way smarter than you are — people you feel you have no business being in the same room with.

Too often we are passive about this. We think that mentors will come into our lives as a part of a company we work for, an organization we are a part of, or a class we take.

Be purposeful in seeking out your mentors.

Find the leaders in your field, the people you strive to be, and find a way to get a piece of their time and attention. We live in a day and age during which the most successful people, no matter the field, are only a Tweet away.

Shoot your shot. Tweet that Tweet. Send an email. Approach someone at a conference. Ask for a coffee date.

Compete for their time because if you don’t someone else will.

5. Become a creature of habit

Habits are addicting. Both good and bad.

If you eat poorly today, it becomes easier to do so tomorrow. If you run a mile less than you were scheduled to, it’s much more likely you will finish your run early tomorrow, too. Shutting your laptop at 4:45 makes it easier to shut it at 4:38 the next day.

As Charles Chu states, the good news is that it works the other way as well. When you do something good, you are much more likely to repeat that same behavior the next day.

Investing time in yourself to develop key habits now is one of the most important things you can do to ensure your success in the future.

6. Humble yourself

Never failing is a surefire way to ensure you will never accomplish anything meaningful in your life. To accomplish the truly big things in your life, you need to make mistakes. You need to lose. You need to fail.

Before you seek to help others, you must humble yourself to prepare for these shortcomings. It is only when you are not afraid of these failings that you can approach life in the way you must to achieve success.

Overcoming that fear comes with letting go of your ego. If you have no ego to uphold, you have no reason to fear failure.

It is when we let go of our ego and approach failure as a learning experience rather than a setback that we become truly powerful.

“What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?” — Robert H. Schuller

Better yet, what would you attempt if you didn’t care if you failed?

Let’s bring it back

We are a part of a generation more willing to help others than any before us. But many of us seek to help others before we have truly learned to take care of ourselves. If you invest the time now to create the best version of yourself, your ability to impact others will grow.

You must learn to take care of the little things.

Be honest with yourself.

Invest in becoming a lifelong learner.

Take the time to find great mentors.

Develop key habits that will carry on throughout your life.

Humble yourself to prepare for the inevitable shortcomings.

Once you take care of yourself, you can begin to take care of everyone else around you.