7 Lies You Need to Stop Telling Yourself

Our lives are a series of actions, many of which are a product of the habits we form. We find ourselves following certain ways of thinking, which result in us carrying out particular behaviors.

But many of these ways of thinking are, in fact, wrong. They are founded on something we believe to be true but are actually small lies we tell ourselves each day. Here are 7 lies you need to stop telling yourself in order to be happy and successful.

1. My money is more valuable than my time.

How much is your time worth? I don’t mean how much your salary says it’s worth; I mean what you really think it is worth. My guess is that you would put that value pretty high. $40/hour, $60/hour, $100/hour?

Think about how painful it is for you to spend $20. And then think about how painless it is for you to spend 20 minutes doing something you could have thrown some money at and had handled for you.

We often fail to associate the time we are spending with the value of that time. When, according to a recent study, spending money on time-saving purchases actually boosts happiness.

So, even if it may seem painful at first, spend money when it saves you time. And then use that time you save to produce value. The truth is, if you are producing, your time is far more valuable than your money.

2. It’s going to get better.

Have you ever been a part of a conversation like this before?

“How’s the new job going?”

“It’s going pretty well. Some things are frustrating but it’s early. I think it will get better.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it will.”

What’s missing? HOW. How is it going to get better?

Jobs, relationships, life — these things do not get better on their own. They get better because people put in the work to make them better.

Doing the same thing every day and hoping your boss or your partner or your friend will step their shit up and make things better is literally insanity.

Stop waiting for others to make your situation better. You can’t wish better into existence. You need to make a plan and act on that plan to make better happen.

3. I am going to get up at 5 am tomorrow.

We all want to make positive changes in our lives but so often, even when we decide to act, we go about it in the wrong way. We try to go from 0 to 100 without remembering to eat the whale one bite at a time.

Say you typically wake up at 7 to get to work for 9. You are feeling really ambitious and want to start working out before work. You calculate it out and decide you need to now get up at 5 am.

You set your alarm. But 5 am rolls around and you hit snooze. And then hit it again. And then you get out of bed at 7 like usual but now you are discouraged and disappointed in yourself.

What should you do instead? Be realistic in your approach. Take one bite at a time. Wake up at 6:30 for a week and get in a quick, 20-minute workout. The next week, 6. Then, 5:30. And finally, 5. Make incremental improvements each day, each week.

This requires us to shift our thinking from finding immediate, short-term fixes to disciplined, long-term solutions. Value the process of improvement and your improvements will be sustainable.

4. I have plenty of time.

Do you know someone who accomplishes way, way more than they should have time for? The person that works full-time, has two side hustles, volunteers for three organizations, and works out twice as often as you do? Me too.

These people don’t have 48 hours in a day. They have the same 24 as you. They just use them better. They don’t waste time because they recognize they don’t have time to waste.

Every Facebook check, every TV show you watch, every nap you take is time taken away from building your empire.

Don’t waste time. You don’t have plenty of it. You have anything but.

5. Once this happens, I will be ready to do that.

We all have difficult decisions we know we need to make and dreams we know we want to chase, and we all have excuses for not acting on them.

Often, we frame these excuses as steps we first need to take before we can make that major decision or change.

“I will start that business once I have more money saved up.”

“I will run that marathon once I have more time to train.”

“I will take that trip once things calm down at work.”

These statements are only successful in making you do one thing — put your dreams on hold.

The truth is, you’ll always want more money to start that business, you definitely have time to train right now, and things will never calm down at work.

You are ready right now. You, as you are. You are capable. You have the time. You can make it happen. Go do it.

6. People will hate me if I say, “No.”

We’ve already talked a lot about the value of time. Perhaps our largest time suck is doing things we know we shouldn’t because someone asked us to and we are afraid to say, “No.” We tell ourselves that our friend or coworker or significant other will hate us if we turn down a request.

Here’s the thing. They won’t.

Think about the times you have said no to someone. Did they hate you for it? Were they pissed? Probably not. To be honest, they probably respected you a lot more for valuing your time and, if they didn’t, you should probably say no to them a lot more often.

If you’re worried about saying no without coming off like a terrible person, my friend (I follow him on Twitter) Eric Barker offers up some pretty outstanding advice.

7. If I have this, then I will be happy.

We incorrectly think of happiness as a destination, not a journey. We think if we make a certain amount of money, or have a certain job, or live in a certain place we will finally be happy. That’s bullshit.

Happiness is enjoying the journey, finding the good in life despite its faults, and having a mindset of appreciation, gratitude, and thankfulness.

One of humans’ five biggest regrets in life is not letting ourselves be happier. Do not make the same mistake so many others have.

Find joy in the little things, have a deep, deep appreciation for life, and, if something is an obstacle to your happiness, make overcoming it your number one priority.

You owe it to yourself and those around you to approach life with a contagious joy.

Be honest with yourself.

Value your time, not just your money.

Make things better, don’t wish them better.

Make long-term, purposeful plans to improve, not short-term fixes that won’t last.

Do not waste time, you can’t afford to.

Recognize that you are ready right now.

Do not be afraid to say no.

Allow yourself to be happy.

Get after it. Keep grinding. And get there.