9 Differences Between You and the Person You Could Become

“Someone once told me the definition of Hell: The last day you have on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become.” — Anonymous

I first read this quote 6 months ago and its weight has haunted me slightly ever since. It has also driven me every day.

Life is a series of decisions. We make 35,000 of them each day. Every decision you make moves you either closer to or further from the best version of yourself, the person you could become.

Here are 9 differences between you and that person along with the improvements you can make each day to close the gap.

1. The person you could become doesn’t waste 3 minutes.

“The trouble is, you think you have the time.” — maybe, but definitely not, Buddha

You know the scenario. You are working in a flow state — banging out words or equations or code. After a good amount of progress, you are temporarily satisfied and you tell yourself you can afford to take a break.

I’ll check my email, or watch a YouTube clip, or scroll through Instagram for 3 minutes.

You shake back into consciousness and that 3 minutes somehow became 30. Now, you need to work yourself back into that flow state. And that takes another 23 minutes to accomplish.

The person you could become doesn’t waste the 3 minutes in the first place. They put their phone on airplane mode, mute email notifications, close out everything else on their desktop and simply grind.

Without distraction, you can be incredibly productive in 90-minute bursts of time and accomplish in a few hours what others can accomplish in 10.

2. The person you could become doesn’t waste 24 hours.

“Just start.” — a lot of people

We often think to ourselves, “I’ll just start that tomorrow.”

There is a psychological phenomenon dubbed the “fresh start effect” that draws us to specific times to start something new — a birthday, the first day of a month, a Monday. We are wired to view these as the ideal times to start fresh.

But if we are constantly waiting for a Monday to start eating well or the first of the month to get back to the gym, we are wasting the precious time beforehand.

The person you could become doesn’t waste a day waiting for tomorrow’s fresh start to come. They start at this very moment.

3. The person you could become invests in themselves.

“If you aren’t investing in yourself then you don’t have any skin in the game of your own life.” — Benjamin P. Hardy

When I began my previous company (which failed epically), my co-founders and I had none of the skills to build the mobile application we needed.

We first sought out free resources to teach us how to do this. When we realized they were not enough, we were extremely hesitant to invest money in teaching ourselves the skills we needed.

“$30 a month to access all of these courses is pretty steep,” we said as we ordered burgers and a few beers that cost us $30.

We spend money on food, booze, shopping sprees, and 12 different streaming services without giving it a second thought, but when we consider spending money to improve ourselves, we are incredibly hesitant.

The person you could become spends money on books, online courses, seminars, and conferences. They invest time and money in getting better every day and understand that any investment in themselves will pay itself back 100X over.

4. The person you could become is a mentor and a mentee.

“My mentor said, ‘Let’s go do it,’ not ‘You go do it.’ How powerful when someone says, ‘Let’s!’” — Jim Rohn

Who are your mentors? If you named less than 3 people I urge you to seek out more.

Who are your mentees? If you named less than 5 people I urge you to seek out more.

The person you could become knows the value of learning from experts; of investing time and energy in developing valuable one-on-one relationships with people who will provide honest feedback, challenge them, and hold them to a higher standard.

The person you could become also knows the value of doing this for other people. Actively seek out opportunities to give of yourself to help others. You will learn more from them than they learn from you.

5. The person you could become values systems over goals.

“Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short-term, but eventually a well-designed system will always win.” — James Clear

We are focused on goals. We want to weigh this much, land this promotion, run a marathon in this amount of time.

As James Clear writes, goals reduce our current level of happiness by creating an “I’m not good enough yet” mentality. They also ask us to control things we cannot control. Landing that promotion relies on outside factors.

The person you could become focuses not on goals, but on the systems in place to achieve those goals. You can control going to the gym and eating well every day. You can control working extra hours. You can control running 5 days a week.

“Having a system is what matters. Committing to the process is what makes a difference.”

6. The person you could become provides value to others.

“Give value. Give value. Give value. And then ask for business.” — Gary Vaynerchuk

How often do you focus on what you can do for others as opposed to what other people can do for you?

We often play the short game — we want to benefit from our relationship with someone else immediately. But it is smarter to play the long game — to provide value without asking for anything in return, knowing you will eventually benefit in the future.

The person you could become focuses on the long game. They know that they will grow through the process of giving value, be exposed to new opportunities, and earn a more successful future.

7. The person you could become actively addresses their own shortcomings.

“Look out the window when things go well… look in the mirror when things go poorly.” — Jim Collins

Think about your worst team member on the last project you worked on. My guess is that you can rattle off 10 things they did wrong throughout the process that held your group back.

Now think about yourself. How many things did you do wrong on that same project? What could you have done better?

And better yet, how will you actively go about addressing those shortcomings and improving them the next time around?

The person you could become understands that great leaders look inwards in times of disarray and outwards in times of success. They constantly ask themselves what they could be doing better. They are their own toughest critic.

8. The person you could become never stops learning.

“Gutenberg’s generation thirsted for a new book every 6 months. Your generation gets a new web page every 6 seconds. And how do you use this technology? To try and beat King Koopa, and rescue the princess.” — Mr. George Feeny of Boy Meets World (the best teacher any of us ever had)

This is the age of an endless availability of knowledge.

YouTube, online courses, podcasts, books, apps. You have access to a never-ending library of knowledge at your fingertips. How do you choose to use it?

You have the ability to learn anything you wish to learn and you can likely do it for very little money.

The person you could become recognizes that they can teach themselves anything and that they now have the tools to do so more than ever before. They actively pursue and gain new knowledge, reinventing themselves with each new skill they acquire.

9. The person you could become is grateful.

“Trust the process… the journey is the reward.” — Bobby Hobert

How often do you take time to be grateful for the journey you have been given, the opportunities you have earned, the relationships you possess?

Our world is go, go, go. We rarely take a minute to stop, breathe, and appreciate how blessed we are.

Schedule 10 minutes a day to simply exist and be grateful. Write down 3 things you are grateful for each day before you go to bed.

The person you could become recognizes there is no point in striving to be the best version of themselves if they don’t take the time to appreciate the journey that will get them there.