These Are Humans’ 5 Biggest Regrets… and How to Eliminate Them

It is 2018 and institutions and individuals continue to debate the question of what happens once you die. I don’t know the answer to that question and, no matter how much someone may assert that they do, no one really does. The afterlife is one thing — uncertain.

What is certain? The life we are living right now. We all have a set number of days, hours, and minutes to live this life. We may not know how many we get but we know we have at least some in the bank.

The uncertainty of what happens when that bank account is dry makes it all the more necessary to live our current life without regret. Unfortunately, too many people end their lives with a lot of it.

Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse, worked in palliative care for 12 years. Over that time, she collected responses from hundreds of patients as they expressed to her what they regretted the most. This is what they said and how to avoid having the same regrets.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

We are far too focused on what other people think, what other people’s expectations are, and what society thinks is the right way to do things. It slows us down.

Instead, we should live a life true to ourselves. Take the time to think about what we really, truly want. What sets our souls on fire? What fuels our passion? What would we want to do every second of every day if we could? (We can.)

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This has two sides.

First, it calls for us to value our time outside of work. The times with your family and friends. The little moments. The big moments.

Second, it begs the question — would people regret working so hard if they actually enjoyed their work? My guess is that the answer is no.

Take the time to find work that you enjoy. That way, you can work as hard as is necessary to achieve the level of success you desire and deserve while enjoying the journey to get you there.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

So often we let our fear or embarrassment keep us from expressing how we truly feel — our feelings in a relationship, at work, with ourselves.

Is that feeling of discomfort that is keeping you from telling someone how you really feel worth it?

A lot of times we feel expressing our true feelings will make our current reality worse, but it is likely to make it better. Sharing our true feelings creates lines for open and honest communication and allows the people in our lives to better respond us and our needs and desires.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

There are major transitional events throughout our lives that make it difficult to stay in touch with the people we care about. We leave for college, move for a first job, leave that company for something new, get married, have children, et cetera.

During each of these major transitions, it is easy to lose touch with people we care about — too busy with our new environment to put in the time and effort necessary to keep the relationships we value alive.

And that is something we easily forget — good relationships do take time and effort. Evaluate who is worth these resources for you and don’t lose those people, no matter what it takes.

Call, don’t text. Hop on a plane. Leave your phone at home when you are together.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Happiness is not something you work towards in order to achieve. Many of us carry around a vision of ourselves and in that vision, we picture ourselves truly happy. Maybe we are making this much money or living in that new house or in this relationship.

But waiting for that vision and not enjoying the path to it is not a recipe for happiness. You can be overwhelmingly and genuinely happy right now. It’s the little things that get you there.

Do what you need to do to improve your most important relationships. Write down what you are grateful for each day. Reflect with purpose and make changes based on that reflection. Live in the present moment. Enjoy the journey.

Have an unwavering appreciation for the life you have been given for certain.