Episode 16 — Pioneers & Builders (& Our Thing)

Craig Gross
Jun 18 · 10 min read

I’m an idea guy. Whatever size those ideas are, I’ve got too many flooding my mind day-in and day-out to know what to do with any of them.

I go fast.

I say yes more than I say no.

I’m learning to say no…slowly.

I moved our family to the beach, but then I went and built an office in the damn hallway-closet of a bathroom.

I add too many things to iCal.

I make too many meetings.

I don’t plan breaks.

I don’t write in time for meals.

I don’t stop to pee.

I don’t stop to eat.

I don’t stop to work out.

I don’t stop for the kids unless our time is planned beforehand.

I have a lot of wants too, though.

I want to do the things that I don’t.

I want nothing on my schedule before 9AM.

I want to work out five days a week (and at least one of them at OrangeTheory with you).

I want all work removed from my schedule between 4–9PM on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

I want to have a planning meeting each weekend so that we know what we’re doing the following week.

I want to schedule family time each day. Maybe that means I take Elise to dance on Thursday, or take Nolan wherever he’s going on Tuesday, and pen in time with you on Friday.

I want to schedule a Bible class twice per week.

I want a minimum of three hours at the spa, once a week, to write, record, dream, and reflect.

I want to pray with the kids at night. I should never have stopped.

I want to be intentional about spending time working through How We Love. I want to schedule holding times and comfort circles.

I want to take a month off of work next summer.

I want to ride a bike or skateboard three to four times a week.

I want to be here with you more, and so I only want to plan 25 trips in 2019. I have 12 planned already, and I’m only allowing myself 13 more.

I want to set a spending rule for myself: no buying anything unless I’ve first sold something else. I want to budget better.

I want to set a saving rule for myself. I want to save more than ever for our family, and for the ministry.

I lead best when I have help, and when there are people helping me with implementation.

I could not have married a woman more different than I am. We talk about that sometimes. Ten years ago, both of us thought that we were more alike than we think we are now. And maybe we were. I used to have a tough time with that, honestly. I equated difference with disunity, and even though we have our fair share of shouting matches, I no longer believe that is the case. I think that I had a skewed view of marriage, where love was synonymous with compliance, and if it didn’t translate appropriately, I’d feel threatened instead of gifted with a helper who was strong enough to push back.

Disagreement is not the equivalent of dishonor. It doesn’t have to be, anyway.

Marriage is not an ideological unanimity. Does such a thing even exist? And who’s conviction will transcend the others? What a sad thing to discover how you thought headship meant “control.” The things that I would take back. The subtle manipulation. The quiet degradation. The chauvinistic authority that I would champion as a Pharisee unto the law.

In recent months, I have been learning patience that used to terrify me as passivity. And I grow to understand, little by little, just how patient my bride has been beneath a hand as heavy as two stone tablets that never empowered the reader to live up to their inscriptions.


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Craig Brain

Craig Brain is not your brain or my brain, but neither must unity be predicated upon uniformity. This is an invitation for you to take a peek inside the gross (pun intended), squishy, alien matter inside of my brain.

Craig Gross

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Craig Brain

Craig Brain is not your brain or my brain, but neither must unity be predicated upon uniformity. This is an invitation for you to take a peek inside the gross (pun intended), squishy, alien matter inside of my brain.