Want to reach people? Change your shoes

Nathan Cantelmo
Aug 26, 2017 · 4 min read

Recently, I submitted an article for publication on Indie Hackers. The site is a watering hole for entrepreneurs, filled with interviews and advice from startup founders who’ve built successful companies from the ground up.

Although my article was accepted, a piece of editorial feedback I received from Courtland Allen (the site’s founder) was that one of my introductory sentences might turn some readers off. The sentence in question?

“In an effort to share more and to continue dogfooding Writing.AI, here’s a list of my top takeaways to date.”

What’s wrong with this sentence? I’ll let Courtland explain, since he rightfully pointed it out in the first place:

And he’s absolutely right. His site’s visitors aren’t reading that article to learn why I’m writing it. They’re trying to gain insight that will help them become better entrepreneurs.

This story is illustrative of a larger principle — the obligation to provide value.

The unwritten contract

At the heart of most human interaction is an implicit contract: If you bother to listen to me, I will provide something of value to you.

This idea has been around for a long time in different forms. Dale Carnegie described it in How To Win Friends and Influence People under the heading “Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.” Gary Vaynerchuk’s central thesis in business — Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook — is a variation on the same theme.

As a communicator, your ability to reach an audience depends on whether you’re able to fulfill this contract.

Yet most people, myself included, too often lose track of this dynamic. We get so wrapped up in what we’re trying to accomplish that we overlook our duty to provide value. In doing so, we undercut our ability to connect to an audience.

How can you learn to change this behavior? Start with your footwear.

Change your shoes

In business and in life, if you really want to reach people, you need to change your shoes. Take yours off, and put on the pair your audience is wearing.

Do this the moment you start any interaction, be it by email, a blog post, a product offering, a phone call, or a face-to-face conversation. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and then ask yourself what you’d like to get out of the interaction.

If you’re talking to a potential customer for the first time, consider their mindset: If they already know about your product, they probably don’t want to hear your pitch. Unless you’re famous, they also probably aren’t too interested in your story.

Neither of these things provide value. They’re topics that you’re comfortable talking about, but not ones your audience is necessarily interested in.

After swapping shoes, you might come to the conclusion that “Hey, I don’t really know what this person wants. I should probably ask.” Then, instead of launching into a product pitch, you say, “How can I help you?” and mean it, because you understand it’s more than an opening line taught to customer service reps.

Anyone whose livelihood depends on effective interpersonal relations needs to understand this concept. Without changing shoes, you can learn to repeat well-rehearsed scripted responses. A lot of sales reps are masters of this. But without a true interest in the viewpoint of your audience, you’ll never be able to fully reach them.

Provide value

Once you’ve learned to change shoes with everyone you meet, you’re halfway there. But there’s a second step that’s just as important — make sure you’re providing value.

You’ve put yourself in someone else’s shoes and have an idea of what they’d like to get out of a conversation. Now you need to deliver. If you don’t have something of value to offer, then don’t offer it!

Ultimately, many of the people you interact with won’t care that much about you. There are too many things vying for attention, and, in the U.S. at least, a majority of working-class individuals feel overworked or overwhelmed. [1]

How do you connect with people when many of them just want to get through the day? You have to offer real value. Something that the audience believes that they can benefit from. Time savings, money savings, a connection to someone who can help them, or a practical piece of advice they haven’t heard before.

So the next time you’re faced with a question of how to respond, what to write, or the best way to approach a problem, try this method: First, make sure you’re wearing the right pair of shoes. Then provide real value.

Created With Writing.AI

This article is part of a series drafted using Writing.AI, a new approach to writing designed to make the process faster, easier, and more accessible. If this sounds interesting to you, sign up for a launch announcement at https://writing.ai or follow @writingai on Twitter.

Created with Writing.AI

A collection of articles written in collaboration with a chatbot, using Writing.AI

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Nathan Cantelmo

Written by

Creator of Writing.AI

Created with Writing.AI

A collection of articles written in collaboration with a chatbot, using Writing.AI

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