A Happiness Story: When Painful Things Happen To Positive People

Have you been asked the question why do bad things happen to good people? Have you been told that once something really bad happens you will lose all your positive thinking and positive psychology ideas? Positive people do not smile because their lives are all sparkles and unicorns, they smile because this is their choice.

When painful things happen to positive people they experience the same sadness, pain and confusion as pessimists. Being positive doesn’t mean being ignorant. Being positive is not blindly believing in fairy tales but looking for the positive meaning of every life event.

I wanted to tell you a very short story about positive people and painful events. I hope you read it and appreciate that life gives from everything to everyone, including the right to choose what to focus on.

Jo and Kate were sisters in high school, Jo was 15 and Kate was 17. They lived in a small town and were the best friends. However, there was something fundamentally different about them.

Jo was always positive, while Kate was a worrisome and fearful girl. While Jo experienced life as an adventure, never worrying and always seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, Kate couldn’t stop expecting the worst and contemplating on the unfairness of life.
While Kate was in the last year of high school their beloved father was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer. The whole family suffered through treatments, many sleepless nights, pain and tears, never losing hope but slowly saying their goodbyes. When the time for the father to go had come, nobody was quite ready. Jo and Kate’s mom was devastated. The girls could not believe that it had all happened so fast.
After the funeral took place they all went back home welcoming friends and family in their home to pay respects. Kate was sitting next to her mom, crying, hopeless, speechless, as if all that life had to offer was suffering.
Jo welcomed guests, spoke to them, served coffee and cookies, smiled and…”….seems okay…how can she smile? how can she make small talk when we just lost our father? is she so positive she can’t even feel pain anymore?” thought Kate. Anger took over her…Her little sister was acting like this was a farewell party and not the funeral of their father….Kate couldn’t understand how Jo could not be affected by this painful event. Was she blinded by her positive thinking and not seeing the truth?
Kate went to Jo and asked in an angry and frustrated voice:
“What are you doing? Don’y you feel sorry for our father? Don’t you feel pain? What is so positive about his death, ah? Tell me!”
Jo smiled at her and put her hand over her sister’s shoulder:
“Oh, sister, our father’s death has broken my heart. I am overwhelmed by sadness. I can’t comprehend that I will never be able to talk to him again. I don’t want to part with him. I wish he would walk right through this door. I feel the pain as much as you do….But there is something else that I feel and it is stronger than pain: LOVE.
I feel the love for my father…
and…
I smile because I know his suffering on this world was enough.
I smile because all these people loved, respected and appreciated him.
I feel proud to be a daughter of a man with so much value for so many people.
I smile because I could be closer to him than any of them.
I smile because he walked a part of my journey with me.
I smile because I know I will never forget him.
I feel pain, but most of all, I feel LOVE

It’s easy to stay positive when everything in out lives goes well. The challenge is to keep believing in the order of things when we are facing painful and difficult moments.

Positive people do experience the same suffering, doubts and anger as everyone else. They just see all of life — not just the pain of the burning fire, but the warmth that comes with it as well.

No matter how strong our minds and beliefs are, bad things happen to good people all the time. Positive people choose to react to events in their life from the perspective of LOVE, humbleness and positive expectations.

Whatever we focus on creates our reality.

There is nothing good or bad, only thinking makes it so.

Antoniya aka Minty

If you liked this, you might also enjoy a story on stopping negative thoughts.

Ha ve you started writing your own life’s story? Learn why you should do it right now.

P.S. Are you tricking yourself into thinking that you are happy?

Read the 12 Signs That You Are Unhappy (And You Ignore It!) to find out.

Originally published at mintyhideout.com on March 15, 2015.