Living Abroad: How to Turn From Unhappy Foreigner to a Happy Expat
from mintyhideout.com
Did you know that I have lived in four different countries so far?
Bulgaria, the Netherlands, Hungary and now Turkey! It’s been a ride…
I don’t mean to impress you but give you some background because you might be wondering WHY is she talking about this now…
The truth is that for me living abroad was a choice — I left my motherland Bulgaria at the age of 19 and went to pursue my bachelor degree in the Netherlands…Since then I have been traveling around, chasing planes, sleeping on airports, trying to fit my life in a suitcase and learning to speak Hungarian (don’t even think about it!)..
And even if I am settled in Turkey now, I know that I have a heart of an adventurer and I can only dream what my next adventure will be….and moreover I keep on traveling back and forth to Bulgaria where half my family is, so still trying to fit a house in a suitcase.
During my travels, living abroad and talks with foreigners in all of these countries I noticed that some of them really enjoy being abroad and take everything they can from the experience, while some…well resist everything and can’t wait for it to be over…
I admit — it is not easy to be happy in a new country especially if you are sent there…You will like some places more than others, that’s only natural BUT you can learn something from every experience and this is your goal No1.
I decided to share my lessons from the 3 different countries I had to settle my life in, hoping that my experience will help you have a happier life living abroad:
1. Do your homework!
The first thing I learned when I went to the Netherlands is that I had no idea what was going on! I didn’t even know that everyone uses a bike there, and I am a really really curious person.
I had to learn the hard way that nothing was open on Sundays, that all shops close at 18:00 and that I was having my first exams in 1.5 months!….Now it all seems pretty logical to me but back then I was super confused because I hadn’t prepared. I asked question after question and the answers just produced more questions for me. I thought that everything is so weird and different but this was because I hadn’t done my homework.
My best tip: Research, research, research
Now we have Google Street View so you have no excuse!
If you are planning on living abroad research everything that you can and get information from different sources:
– websites — blogs — books — your employer — communities
If you start using Google Street View for example, the place that you are going to live won’t look so different and hostile. If you learn a few words of the language in advance you won’t feel so far away from everyone and you will enjoy recognizing them on the street.
Preparing not only gives you confidence about knowing what you are doing, but also makes the new place more familiar and in that way easier to accept and adapt to.
2. Get social!
When I went for my Erasmus semester in Budapest, Hungary, oh boy, I was prepared — I even knew where the closest supermarket is to my flat and what public transport to take to university. I knew how to say Yes (Igen) and No (Nem)…I had researched the neighbourhood, the sights, the places to go, the food, the money…
I felt so confident that I decided to rent a flat of my own and not have any roommates. So far so good you say…
Having a flat of my own was great but lonely….
While people from all over the world were meeting and talking in the living rooms of their flats I was alone watching TV shows and talking to my family on Skype. Eventually, classes started and I met quite a lot of people but it was never easy to socialize — they were always together with 4–5 people in a shared flat and I was alone many times, thinking about going back home.
Don’t get me wrong — I had my fun, but I see that if I had tried to socialize with locals as well as with foreigners a little more I would have found better friends and experienced happiness at its fullest. I couldn’t speak the language because I thought it was impossible to learn and never attempted to make one Hungarian friend.
If you want to be happy living abroad, find people to connect to on a regular basis, locals and not. It is imperative to happiness to build meaningful relationships and you can only enjoy the local culture if you do that with the local people.
3. Learn the language!
For me now language = culture. Once you start understanding the language of a certain place, you start feeling and LIVING the culture. I don’t mean understanding the words but those little slang expressions, the tone and notes that you didn’t feel before and the reason why something is said in a certain way. Language goes deep in the values of people and understanding it well means you can appreciate the culture better.
I felt at home in Turkey from day 1 of living here and couldn’t enjoy more the fact that everyone was like one big family (maybe because people call each other uncle “amca” or sister “abla” without having any family relations ☺. But nothing can compare to the moment when I could understand and speak Turkish.
If you want to be happy living abroad, learning the language can have multiple benefits:
– you can connect with people easier — you can meet great locals — you can participate in more activities — you can feel strong and independent — you can practice the things you love — you can form and express your own opinions (no more ladies jumping in front of me on the lane at the supermarket!) — you have a skill for life!
Download the high quality PDF of the Happy Expat vs. Unhappy Foreigner.
Extra lesson from going back home: It’s been almost 9 years since I left home for my first adventure. Every time that I got back to Bulgaria I felt differently — I don’t live there but I still call it my first home. Going back home after an expat experience is no easier than going abroad, not because something has changed but because abroad changes US. Don’t expect from yourself to act the same, talk the same or think the same as before you left — we grow and that’s good. Give yourself time to find the new YOU at home and be comfortable with the fact that you are a better version of yourself.
Stay HAPPY
Minty
from mintyhideout.com
