Battle Hymn Of The Data Miner
U2 Song Parodies To Sing While Coding…
I have mined the deepest tables
I have run endless code
Only to get 0 rows
Only to get 0 rows.
I have run, I have executed
I have hit firewalls
These firewalls
Only to find no results.
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for.
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for.
I have missed an alias
Felt the run time error in my chest
Errors that tire
(I was) learning through trial.
I have seen queries timeout
I have seen long jobs killed
I was warned by IT
I was told change your code.
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for.
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for.
I believe I finally found it
Then all the data fills the screen
Exports I’ll need.
Cause yes, it’s still running.
You broke the limit
And you can’t use excel
Need more aggregation for the data now
Group it now, so you can read it.
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for.
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for.
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for.
But I still haven’t found
What I’m looking for.
And the encore…
I wanna run, I want to code
I wanna tear through the logs
That hold insights untold.
I wanna select all
And find the data gold
Where the structure’s to blame.
I wanna pull info from these tables.
I see the timestamps
Formats without a match.
I wanna add structure
To the free form fields
Where the structure is lame
Where the data’s to blame
Where the conventions insane.
Second encore…
See the database on your screen
See the tables well defined
They wait for you
Write the code and submit the job
Watch the silon that makes me wait
And I wait, for ouput
Waiting for output
Waiting for output
Through the process comes results
Data sets but I want more
And I'm coding anew
Waiting for output
Waiting for output
I get paid
Waiting for output
Thanks for reading!
