The Analyst
Perspective and Parody
For better appreciation, imagine first the twinkling of the ivories, followed quickly by the soulful howl of a harmonica… enjoy.
It’s eight o’clock on a Monday.
Still most of the office isn’t in
There’s a salesman waiting in my cube
His smile is worried and thin
He says, “Son, can you build me a sale’s slide
I’m not really sure in what way
But the clients need more reassurance
That the product actually does what we say.”
Build me a chart, you’re the analyst
I am going to need it tonight
Just show me all that great data
And my clients will be feeling alright
Now Jane from HR is a friend of mine
She’s always willing to listen and advise
And she’s quick with some praise, less so with a raise
But she’s getting quite tired of ‘their’ lies
She says, “George, this place is wearing on me.”
As frustration showed on her face
“Well I’m sure that I could be more effective
If I worked at a less bureaucratic place”
Now Paul is climbing the ladder
So he never has time for a life
And he’s talkin’ with Aadi, who’s still works in IT
And both will be workin’ all night
And the marketer is an aspiring photographer
As the finance guys grow distant and cold
Yes, they all have ‘shared goals’ in the system
But they’d all just prefer to go home
Build me a deck, you’re the analyst
Make sure that your numbers are tight
Because we are all too jaded for errors
Even if the recommendation is right
The company is excited after earnings
And the CMO gives me a nod
’Cause she knows that my numbers just saved her
From having to look for a job
And the database is still just aweful
And the numbers are coming out weird
And they stop by my desk and make a request
And say, “Man, I’m so glad that you’re here!”
Tell us a story you’re the analyst
Make sure that it's full of insight
We live in a world full of bad data
And there’s another board meeting tonight
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