Real-Time Data — The Road Runner of Analytics
Lessons From Wile E. Coyote
Not far back in the buzzword soup that is the corporate analytics world, Real-time Data was all the rage. It was quickly cast aside for Big Data and the IOT, but not before many a ‘super genius’ did an epic face plant in their quest to deliver on Real-time Data.
They came with credentials and PhDs. They came with fancy titles and business cards. And it was all very scientific — Overconfidentii Vulgaris. Wile E. has a whole site’s worth of names.
Chasing Speed
They were chasing speed. Isn’t everyone? Only speed kills… er, hurts really bad? Let’s go with… Speed has consequences and, for the most part, our would-be coyotes were completely oblivious. They were hungry and in those desert days — Real-time Data looked like an easy chase.
Only The Road Runner Followed A Different Set Of Rules
In the cartoon, physics didn’t seem to apply to the Road Runner. It actually seemed to work in reverse for the Coyote. How many times was that crazy bird able to run on air? How many times did friction, gravity, and the other laws of physics betray the coyote? The boxing glove SHOULD NOT move the massive boulder!
Real-time Data broke the rules as well. The standard rules of analytics no longer applied. Decisions had to be made in seconds and analytics is typically a time consuming endeavor. The amount of data available to the average analyst continues to grow nearly exponentially, but real-time decisions force you to build decision points off a single data point or two. How do you build insight from so little data in so little time? It was a metaphorical mad dash over a cliff…
The Answer Was Never Technology
You may remember that Wile E. Coyote or at least his suppliers at ACME invented Just-In-Time inventory management! He could drop a postcard in the mailbox and have some shining new technology in under three seconds! Talk about real-time! (Talk about the real value of real-time!)
Unfortunately, all that technology was designed to make him faster. We know that wasn’t the real issue — the Road Runner often stopped! Beep! Beep! Worse still, the technology assumed the old rules still applied. Catapults launched him into the ground, rockets exploded, and havoc ensued.
The same is true of real-time data. The real issue is not speed of data delivery, but the amount of data available and our ability to determine what is truly meaningful. ACME made a fortune off our friend the coyote and many a technology company made a killing helping analysts in their pathetic chase as well.
You Also Can’t Fake It
When all else fails, fake it. There was a lot of faking going on in early 2000’s. The genius’ who survived the dot-com disaster could never admit their foray into Real-time Data was a failure and waste of money — assuming their data technology departments ever told them… So they faked it.
Faking it is at least a cheaper solution, discounting all those worthless salaries… But Wile E. Coyote covered faking it, too. It inevitably involved an initial concussion — and then came the truck!
So Chase Something A Little Slower
When at long last the concussions and hospital bills have taken their toll, when ACME starts declining your credit card, it is time to chase a different meal. One that is a little slower. It is time to go after Big Bunny. Er… Bugs Data. No. Well you get the point.
First, reintroduce yourself. Good-bye, data technology. Hello, data science!
Invest in more expensive technology. Avoid high transactional expense — pivot to upfront investment. Once the money is sunk, there is no turning back.
Ignore the sound of oncoming failure. Distract yourself with plenty of carrots…
And this time, don’t fail fast, fail BIG!
If you are entertaining enough, they just may cast you in the reboot? Tiny Toons anyone?
Thanks for reading.
