Getting past feeling flawed to being authentic and connecting better with others
“It is hard to change that feeling flawed piece…it’s so seeped into your bones.” Julie Bjelland
Here is a version of this Creative Mind Audio podcast — See link at bottom to more episodes.
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“Trauma results in this belief that we are different, that we’re not enough, that there’s something about us that pushes people away or that we’re too much for other people.”
Trauma healing specialist Aimie Apigian, MD continues: “And so if they were to truly know us — all parts of us — then they would leave us, then they would kick us out, then they would reject us, abandon us.
“And those feelings of being abandoned and being different are so painful that our system responds in a self-protective way…”
⏩ See her video How Attachment Trauma Affects Being Our Authentic Self and How to Recover.
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Julie Bjelland, LMFT, a psychotherapist and author specializing in high sensitivity and neurodiverse people, comments in an episode of her podcast:
“It is hard to change that feeling flawed piece…it’s so seeped into your bones because it’s your inner child. It’s stuff that you learned with a child’s brain.”
From the original Show Notes: “In this conversation, Julie Bjelland and Willow McIntosh “emphasize the impact of feeling flawed and the power of self-compassion and self-acceptance.”
⏩ See video: Feeling flawed as a neurodivergent child or adult — What can change that?
⏩ Hear Creative Mind Audio podcast version.
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Cathleen King says “in my experience, and in the research of the psychology of chronic pain, we often see that the pain cycle is ultimately cross wired with some type of underlying core belief such as “I’m not okay, I’m not good enough, I’m unworthy, undeserving, imperfect, unloveable, etc” that has been enmeshed with our core identity.”
Cathleen King, DPT, is a “doctor of physical therapy who teaches neuroscience principles, and is a mind-body practitioner.
⏩ See her video Do you need to fix your chronic pain problems to be okay, be loved and worthy?
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Mihaela Ivan Holtz, Psy.D., LMFT of Creative Minds Psychotherapy comments about judgments and perfectionism interfering with our creativity and emotional health.
She writes about being “in the flow, completely at peace with yourself and what you’re doing” and asks, “So, what takes you out of this emotional authentic space?
“It could be a comment you hear or the look in someone’s eyes as they observe something you’re doing. It might be a memory of someone telling you that you “are doing it wrong,” “ruined something,” “keep breaking things.”
And, she adds, “Your own self doubt can cause the disconnection, especially when your inner voice says things like “I’m afraid I will fail,” “people won’t like me,” or “I can’t do this.”
“These are messages of not being “good enough” keeping you stuck in the quest for perfection. The desire to be or do things “perfectly” is a mental space of fear that leaves you caught in anxiety about being wrong, making mistakes, or being flawed.”
⏩ From her post (source of the featured image at top) Transform Perfectionism into Emotional Freedom with EMDR: to Connect, Create, and Achieve.
In another article, Dr Holtz writes about body shame:
“At times, your feelings about your body become the obstacles to your creativity.
“You feel filled with the imperfections of a figure full of flaws. Perhaps this is the fallout from the way you were abused, bullied, assaulted, or rejected in the past. Maybe you simply never felt you measured up to societal standards…
“At some point, the impulse to hide your body can interfere with your creative mind…EMDR therapy can heal body shame.”
Originally published at https://thecreativemind.substack.com — Follow link to see more Creative Mind posts and podcast episodes.
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