Friday Gut Punched Me In My Heart

Two deaths. One I knew was coming and the other caught me completely off guard.

Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay

March 24, 2023. I’m sitting in the lobby waiting for Lyft to show up. I had six injections in my lower back again. Anxiety had me up in the middle of the night so I did what I always do and jumped online. And then I see it.

Missing DJ Jeffrey ‘JV’ Vandergrift confirmed dead after body found at San Francisco’s Pier 39

Damn.

Wild 94.9 radio host Jeffrey Vandergrift, widely known as “JV,” was found dead after being missing for a month. JV had been diagnosed with Lyme disease and often spoke of and wrote about on social media, the devastating effects it was having not just on his body but his brain.

“The stuff I’ve been going through in my brain that they’re trying to figure out. The body and the pain and all that stuff, I can handle. What it’s doing to my brain, I could never describe to you,” he said. Doctors suspected old infections had “reignited,” JV told listeners. — KRON4

Everyone who had been following his story knew this was coming. No phone or bank transactions. Apparently, he left a suicide note that only his wife was privy to (how she managed to get away with that I’d like to know). Just prior to his disappearance he edited a social media post from last August basically saying goodbye.

JV had taken a leave of absence last April after he received his diagnosis. He attempted suicide in September of last year. This time he was successful. He leaves behind a wife and kids and fans that love and adore him.

Jeffrey “JV” Vandergrift, dead at 54, by suicide.

(Image courtesy SFPD) Fair Use

While this is still rolling around in my head, I hear a conversation next to me. I tune in because parts of it sound like the information I’ve heard before. As it turns out the girl who lived in the apartment directly across the hall from me was found dead in her apartment on Thursday.

I had just gotten back that day from having a thyroid scan and passed the ambulance at the entrance of the driveway. “Uh, oh. Now, what?” ran through my mind. Then I saw a local cop car pulled in the wrong direction on the circle in front of the building. As I parked, I saw another cop car parked in a parking space behind me. What cop responding to an emergency, parks his car?

I got inside and saw her door ajar. I just assumed she was taking the trash out or in the laundry room. Now I know differently.

I’m glad I already had one Valium in me for the procedure. Otherwise… I mean seriously. I knew she had health issues thanks to the gossipy chick named Mike next door to me (no, he’s not transitioning. He just chatters like most females are accused of doing is all.) She had blacked out on several occasions including one fall in the lobby that according to him, busted out several of her front teeth. She was no bigger than a Q-Tip.

Mike had also said that the rental office was “on her case about her apartment”. My guess is because of her health she wasn’t able to keep it up to standards.

What I want to know is where were all of the local resources that could have helped her? Surely, she had to have had insurance of some sort. Why didn’t they assign her an at-home nurse and an HHA who could have cooked, cleaned, and done her laundry for her? Why wasn’t her gossipy friend Mike doing her dishes and hauling her trash instead of spreading her business all over the complex?

Ah, the irony of him being the one to gossip. He’s the one who told me when I first moved in here not to tell even one person my business or it would be everywhere, and everyone would know about it. What a tool.

And she has a brother because I heard him talking in the hallway with some nosey busybodies right outside my door of course so my next question is: where was his ass when she was still alive? He’s out there giving her furniture away but couldn’t come by for a few hours each Saturday morning and clean her place up and take her to the store? Make some calls for her to get her the help she needed?

I don’t know. Maybe people had tried to help her, and she refused.

Either way, I’m still pissed off that someone so young (she didn’t look to be 30) has died.

If you or someone you know is at risk of suicide or showing possible warning signs, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 to speak with a trained listener or text “SAVE” to 741741.

Additional References:
NBC Bay Area
The San Franciso Examiner
CBS News San Franciso