Finding Purpose In The Pain — Welcome To The Machine

“Johnny this is your grandmother you need to come home immediately… Ray just shot himself.“

Just like that my whole world was turned upside down — my mother’s fiancé committed suicide in the master bedroom in front of her. What was suppose to be another care-free day in my senior year of high school, ending up being a life altering event.

Upon getting home, I heard screams from outside walking up the steps to the front door. Before even walking in I could feel the grief and pain hanging in the air like a dark cloud. I paused wondering what to say to my mother or if my two younger brothers were home, how terrified they must be.

I stood staring wondering what’s going to happen next? I then wiped away tears, took a deep breath and opened the door.

Truth be told, that wasn’t the only adversity I had lived through up until then and it definitely wasn’t my last either.

Starting from age seven when my parents were divorced, things only compounded from there. It was around then, I started to search for meaning and fulfillment in my life that seemingly escaped me in my immediate circles.

I’ll lay it out to understand, but bare with me: a few years after the divorce, my mother married an alcoholic, in my early teens I lost two siblings. All this loss culminated in my own struggle with addiction in my late teens early twenties, causing me to be academically dismissed from college twice. Later in life, my wife and I lost our first then second child, only to then find out we may never be able to have children. Struggles to find meaningful work forced me into entrepreneurship, only to have multiple businesses end up with failure. After all this, my mother who endured more pain than anyone in their life should, was suddenly diagnosed with cancer. It was around that time that my journey for purpose and meaning took a whole new light:

My mother told me she couldn’t believe it took learning she was dying to start living.

Everyone has their own journey and my mother finally started on hers, even if it was when her time was suddenly running out.

However, my journey up to this point had some silver linings as well. Highlights I look back on include first meeting my beautiful wife, adopting our daughter, becoming a successful financial advisor with Merrill Lynch and launching a real estate investment company along with several other successful businesses. I’ve been married for 19 years now, have three wonderful children, and serve on the Board of Directors for Keller Williams Kids Can along with mentoring millennials across the country.

That all said, my journey toward fulfillment still continues. Follow along as I search for meaning through interviewing others on the same path, with engaging conversations that hopefully help you find your purpose.

My message is simple — Stop listening to the noise. Seek your purpose. Join me on the journey towards fulfillment.

Welcome to The Machine.

The above story was one that was shared with me by a good friend. It was his story of loss and grief that we bonded over; a casual lunch meeting that turned into a four-hour bonding session, each tell our own stories connecting over the painful times.

Too many times are we reminded of all the pain many people suffer throughout their lives — but the thing to remember is they keep going.

I was hired to help tell that story for the bio on his latest endeavor, a podcast interviewing people from all walks about finding your purpose and truly enjoying life to the fullest.

If this story touches you the way it did me, please give it a heart below and share.