Netflix’s The Old Guard buries interesting plot with juvenile writing
The Old Guard is a newly released action flick from Netflix, directed by Love & Basketball writer/director Gina Prince-Bythewood . It follows Charlize Theron’s Andromecha (Andy for short), one of several near-immortal warriors who, we discover, have had a quietly profound effect on history.
These warriors are modern-day mercenaries who, after being dragged back into duty by false information from a CIA informant named Copley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), find themselves in a trap to capture their abilities on camera. As it turns out, pharmaceutical executive Steven Merrick (Harry Melling) wants their DNA to unlock the secret to aging and dementia. Merrick insists that all of the known immortals be captured for experimentation. The mercenaries then discover another “warrior” — a marine by the name of Nile Freeman (Kiki Layne), and inevitably set out to find her.
A tale of immortals becoming the subject of a science experiment has overwhelming potential. It could have dug deep into scientific ethics and governmental power, the struggle between the two and the fight for knowledge in the face of questionable morals. Instead, we have a fairly standard evil scientist who acts as little more than a paper cutout for our heroes to kill in the third act.
Everything feels familiar, and that familiarity only increases with the film’s runtime. Sure, Guards looks great and contains some impressively choreographed fight sequences, but the writing squanders every opportunity available.
I had not heard of The Old Guard before this Netflix release, and was unaware that it is based on graphic novel source material. I also understand that the comic’s creator, Greg Rucka, penned the script for this film. I want to preface this by saying that I have no idea what the caliber of this series is, and the following does not reflect a review or comparison of the source material in any capacity.
With that said, I pray that the graphic novel has better writing sensibilities. Guard spends at least a collective hour of runtime watching Andy lament over being immortal. Once Andy finds Nile Freeman, what follows is an hour of slow dialogue that does nothing to build the world, save for the overbearing reminder that the protagonists are immortal.
There is an insanely predictable moment in which Andy shoots Nile in the head as she tries to escape, proving a second time that she is immortal — as this is after Nile survives her throat being slit without a scratch. Somehow, Nile still refuses to believe in a reality that I already find exhausting. The next minute alone includes two more references to Nile or Andy being immortal. This continues for the entire movie and it does not feel necessary. These moments do not move story. They keep it static. The script lives to emphasize how cool it is that these guys are immortal but hate it.
It seems like every story dealing with immortality deals with the pitfalls of such an existence. This is a good thing. Writers are clever, and it was discovered long ago that the only thing more boring than an immortal hero is an immortal hero who enjoys such an existence. Hating what is supposed to be a gift is a great inner conflict to start on, but it has been done countless times, and dwelling on it adds little to any story written after Interview With the Vampire.
The Old Guard teases deeper philosophical concepts about how individuals change the course of history, but it is skimmed through at the end of the third act. What is worse is that for all of Andy’s going on about it, we are never given an answer as to how or why these people exist. There are few, if any, answers — and I am fine with that — but the questions themselves are not compelling enough for me to care.
There are also truly eye-rolling moments present here. Theron’s can-you-tell-I’m-badass-yet Andy chugs an entire liter of vodka as a plane takes off, and soon after declares that God does not exist and that she used to be worshipped as one. These moments are unprovoked and make Andy remarkably unlikable when I am clearly meant to see her as a hip anti-hero. Instead, it makes Andy seem insecure and laughable. Charlize Theron is capable of far better than what was offered in this script.
We then have lovely, rational exchanges, like when Nile asks why this is happening to her (we never find out) and Andy says she wishes she knew. Nile responds with, “I thought you had answers.”
Andy replies, “I didn’t say you’d like them.”
What? This makes no sense. It is as though characters are not even registering the other’s words, like a broken NPC in a videogame. Dialogue is treated as though I am meant to nod along, whisper to myself about badass monster trucks, then wait for the next action sequence like a good boy. Yes, I am saying it makes me feel like a toddler. It is writing that often reaches for what sounds cool over what propels the story, or sometimes over what even makes sense. I should add that it seems like the barometer for “cool” in this film is the stuff I imagine the dudes from Disturbed say to each other backstage. This all adds up to a film that feels like the writers of Power Rangers penned a supernatural Bourne flick.
What is criminal about this film is its withholding of all the cool bits. Focusing on the science of immortality could have given this world so much legitimacy and been a far more interesting arc. Instead we are left with a mad scientist, a well-intentioned government agent (who is meant to come off as a patsy, despite tricking the “warriors” into killing a dozen people), and a rather binary breakdown of good and evil. It consistently shrugs off nuanced conflict to move on to the next meaningless monologue about being immortal.
Furthermore, there is a sub-subplot about Andy’s friend — another warrior named Quynh (Van Veronica Ngo) — from centuries prior, who has been locked in an iron maiden at the bottom of the ocean. It is undoubtedly the darkest concept here, and so primed for juicing, but it does not do much more than re-emphasize the pitfalls of immortality… Until the last thirty seconds, that is. That is when we get a nice little pre-credit “six months later” sequence involving this long-forgotten warrior, but it only acts as sequel bait and nothing more.
If this film were crunched into a one-hour TV pilot it would be great, and I would tune in to the next episode. Hell, a succinct platform might have made this whole story better, as it certainly didn’t feel meaty enough for a feature. On the contrary, in a film context it feels cheap to give me the most interesting moment of the movie at the end, only to make me think the sequel will actually be interesting.
Subjective verdict 1/5
This movie somehow stole more time out of my life than its runtime.
Objective verdict 2/5
Well-made but terribly written, this budget could have gone to any number of up-and-coming filmmakers who have something more original (and more importantly, entertaining) to say.
Who should tune in?
Action buffs; Fans of the comic?
This story seems to use its action only to prove the immortality of its characters over and over again. There are no stakes. It is a videogame on God Mode, with characters I do not want to be around. This movie contains great action sequences that move nothing forward. Think about the irony of such a sentence before tuning in.
A version of this story originally appeared on CreatorCoffeeShop.com
