The Book Inside: When Telling Our Own Stories Can Change Our Trajectory
To Cole Brown, writing a book was as likely as learning a new language, but he knew he had a unique upbringing and perspective he wanted to share… some day. In his upcoming book Black Boy, Silver Spoon, Cole has found his voice telling his journey growing up as a ‘token’ black man in privileged white America. His story is the story shared by many others and telling it allowed him to channel his voice for a much larger purpose.
“I decided. I finally signed with one.” An easy grin breaks across Cole Brown’s face.
“I am beyond proud of you!” I replied, barely able to contain my awe. “How many book agents were interested?”
“It’s humbling honestly — I had probably five or so agents that were vying to sign me, a couple others that certainly could have if we had further conversations. It’s crazy… never could I have imagined anyone else would love what I’d written. I ultimately went with the book agent who is based in New York. She’s been incredibly helpful.”
Quite the journey for a guy who initially told me, “I’ll keep working on it, but honestly I am not sure anyone other than me and a couple friends I grew up with are going to want to read this.”
Cole has strongly held opinions — and his parents certainly taught him to never hold back. But it is his unique ability to share insight that separates him from most twenty-one year olds.
For Cole growing up as the only African American kid in privileged schools and communities, his take on race is insightful, instructive and unique. His ultimate goal is to share his thoughts in writing, potentially in newspapers and even on television as a commentator on issues of race, maybe even in front of a CNN camera. Cole’s dream is to be the next Ta-Nehisi Coates, author and winner of the 2015 National Book of the Year Award and a leading voice on Race in America.
But what was surprising were book agents scrambling to sign a contract with a twenty-one year old, first-time author… well maybe not really that surprising once you read a draft of his manuscript.
Cole never thought he’d be an author at this age, telling me he thought he’d write a book “to the same extent that I think I might learn Chinese someday. Sure, but realistically probably not. I was very prepared to let life come in the way of that.”
In his book Black Boy, Silver Spoon (working title) due to be published in 2018, Cole reflects on and then analyzes experiences that are not only his own, but ones he knows others identify with. Yet these vital perspectives were not addressed as publicly as he knew they not only could, but needed to be.
“I think that this experience that I look at is a tiny facet of a much larger American experience and still larger black American experience as well. As a result, this one is very seldom looked at and often excluded from what is commonly understood to be a black experience. I’m hoping to analyze and present that experience for the reader’s enjoyment and future knowledge.”
This experiences Cole was compelled to present? Those of young black students in the majority upper-class, majority white spaces of elite preparatory secondly education. “Token” students, he says.
“Tokens are Black and often, though not always, raised in homes that are of high socioeconomic status. For that reason, they do not fit neatly into either the rich-white archetype or poor-black archetype that they are surrounded by. They lack a social environment that reaffirms their sense of belonging and identity and therefore often experience their formative years in a way that differs greatly from that of their peers.” -Black Boy, Silver Spoon
On one level, the format of Cole’s book did not lend itself to being marked with the insights of experts in a field his peers were looking at, like banking or startups.
“I think my book was a bit different because the people that I interviewed were just very much like my universe. Everyone in my universe now knows and has seen to some extent a piece of a book that is their story. For that reason, it’s incredibly exciting and incredibly encouraging.”
The people whose narratives his book is comprised of are instead experts in this universe.
“My focus was exclusively token black kids that have gone through the high school experience relatively recently, about my age or a couple years older. That was exclusively who I was going to interview on the topic and exclusively who I was going to get stories from. I think that was necessary to hone my focus in. I have talked to my mom about it and she’s seen a lot of the pieces and she’s given me input here and there but I did not want her voice in it.”
Not a parents’ narrative, but other ‘tokens’ drawn together by expected relationships to parents and other adults.
“When other kids are calling parents by their first names, that was just totally not acceptable or to be done ever. And still to this day, if I meet somebody they are ‘Mister’ and ‘Mrs.’ whether or not they tell me otherwise. That was because — I think I write it again in the book that she [my mom] did not want the reason for me not to get into a place like Georgetown, she wanted it to be a more complex reason than I was perceived to be disrespectful because I called so-and-so ‘Nina’.”
Cole’s presentation of an experience like this and many more includes, but also impacts far beyond, personal relevance. The book went from a class project thought of as a vehicle for communicating stories to something far more impactful for Cole and others.
Within, and in particular beginning this process, Brown shares,
“I think there’s two emotions and I think you probably hear this from a lot of people. There’s sheer excitement and then sheer terror. For me though however, the first class however is the excitement part. Literally the second you said it, I knew what I wanted to write about. I knew I wanted to write about this and I remember actually in the first class starting a list of stories that I still have from my own high school experience and just deciding that’s what — I couldn’t wait to go back through all those stories.
“The terror for me doesn’t come until maybe a month after that when the honeymoon phase has worn off, it’s too late to back out. Now, you have a ton of words that you need to get on paper. That was also a tough time to get through with structuring the book. The actual writing was not as bad but just getting the amount of content that was needed to write. It was a tough thing to get through.”
Deciding to commit his own stories, let alone his peers’, for an autobiography opened the flood gates for an intense season of introspection for Cole.
“The other way that I think is good is in terms of requiring me to think critically through my own experience. To use another example, I was in Spring Break a couple of weeks ago and I was in the Bahamas with a white friend of mine who was nice enough to invite me. I spent a week with his family. We’re on a very small island in the Bahamas and I am, in my own estimation which is well considered, the only black tourist in the entire island. There are no — there’s maybe one or two white service people on the entire island. Which means the only people that look like me on the entire island are the people cleaning our house and bringing us food.
That was something that I felt uneasy about but without having had this process to stand on, I’m not sure I would have been able to think critically about it to the extent that I did. As a result, I did a ton of writing when I was there and I continued to think that it’s the best stuff I ever produced because I was able to work through my own emotions and feelings on the topic in a way that I wouldn’t have been able to had I not do it already with the Trump stuff and relationship stuff, etcetera.
After the 2016 Presidential Election results came in November, Cole didn’t go to the White House, he said “‘No. ‘I want to mourn in isolation’, or something like that” to a group of friends. Instead, “I went to the Tombs and met with two of my friends and we continued to try to process through all that was happening.”
More than anything, that night awakened the storyteller inside Cole — and he used that night as the inspiration to write one of the most powerful chapters in his book.
“I proceed to write probably — when it’s all said and done close to six to seven thousand words which is more than what I’ve written in one sitting. It was just about my emotions on that day, my experience on that day. I continue to think it’s some of the most powerful writing that is in the entire book.
And then in the spirit of it being a book about all of us, not just me, I spoke to many of my peers that have had similar experiences just to see to what extent was my experience struggling with that new reality. To what extent is that common amongst all of us?
I had some really interesting conversations along the way which not only were beneficial because they ended up being in the book but sort of cathartic on a personal sense as they helped process through what, at that time not to be hyperbolic, but at that time, to some extent felt like the end of the world. It was just like, “What the hell are we doing next?” That was all incredibly possible personally and for the book.”
It is not to say these conversations would not have happened without the process. But this new practice of reflection, when added to the urgency of pure uncertainty, shapes into new lenses Cole can continue to share and relate across state borders just as much as the gates of elite private schools.
The ‘token’ experience may not have been rightly, if at all, voiced, but Brown’s engagement with stories, with lives, “strives to look at the experience of the group that is coming to as the Black Elite especially during their time during high school, how their experiences are different or similar to both their white high socioeconomic status peers and their black likely not-as-high socioeconomic status peers and how that shapes their reality.”
His writing is from his own eyes and ears, and is fundamentally shaped by conversations — by raw honesty. Cole Brown may have once been concerned that his book was not sufficiently ‘business-y’, was too unconventional and personal, yet the unconventionality has been working for him ever since our first encounter. As he tells it,
“I threw a party on homecoming, it was a lot of fun. I get to class on Monday having not done the assignment on time and I am called in front of the class by you and your colleagues. In jest, interviewed for a moment and then proceed to bear the brunt of several jokes about what was described to me as a two-story beer bongs running from my patio to my backyard. I took it as all fun and games.”
He then proceeded to remind my colleagues and me “that it was in fact a three-story beer bong. With the amount of man hours that went into constructing that, I needed that correct.”
“It was clear from the beginning that the relationship between all the professors and you in particular and the students were less formal than it sometimes is. I think it’s necessary just because of the magnitude of the test that you’re requiring, everyone is going to go through ebbs and flows, high points and low points. I certainly was no exception.
In those times of low points and even times of high points, you need to have a continuing dialogue with you and with the other professors to see where we are and where we need to be and how one can be supported.
In that moment where we’re joking around about the party that was thrown the weekend before, that shines through, that trust and that willingness to engage in a continuing dialogue that is at its root, honest.”
Honesty and authenticity. I was struck by the fact that trust and honesty were what Cole took away from a group of professors and mentors teasing him about his party.
Yet as Cole continues to work on Black Boy, Silver Spoon, his book only continues to prove how essential these traits are, not for the sake of a single narrative, but in speaking to the life-stories it is made up of as Cole discusses not only the large-scale issues that matter but shares his own story and listens to and processes the experiences of others.
Makes sense then that he wanted to put as much time and care possible into this book, to really do justice to it, and seek out a book agent.
“At the end of our class, I’ve written 20,000 words; an intro and a couple of chapters that I felt really good about but I did not feel were complete. Again, this is perhaps particular to me but the stakes are really high for me to have something that is complete because even if no one in the world reads it, I know that my little universe will and I want to do them proud because their stories are theirs as well as mine.
I decided to take a little time to continue writing. But in the meantime, I sent it around to a couple of people that I knew know how to publish books or are in the book world, who in turn sent it around to a couple more people. In the end, we had circulated to a number of book agents. The response was incredibly positive.
I had several calls and several meetings and I just took a long time to learn about what the book publishing process in a more traditional sense looks like.”
Now that Cole has formalized the agreement between himself and his agent,
“We now have a year or so together during which time I will complete a proposal for my book. She will then shop it to publishers, a couple of whom we have started dialogue with. And then, I’ll have to finish a book.
I chose this route one because I needed more time, and two because now the stakes are a bit higher. There’s a couple of people that are keeping me on this. While I appreciate you saying that this is an achievement, there is only one actual achievement in this entire process. Either you get it or you don’t. I continued to be deathly afraid of the fact that I will not get it done. It is to a certain extent comforting knowing that my book agent will not let that happen for her own sake.”
I am confident Cole will get it done even without her major stake in the game.
Cole’s major takeaways from this process, his recommendations to others looking to write about a deeply personal and nuanced topic matches his growth and priorities.
“I think there’s two components. One is talk to as many people as possible with whom you share something that you think — if it surrounds the topic that you’re talking — about if you think it’s relevant. Talk to as many people as possible and try to figure out what those common strands are because if you can’t get everything, which you can’t, in a single book and you need to concentrate it down, you want to make sure you’re getting those things that are formative. That’s one.
On a personal level, I think that it requires — it’s going to be good which I think mine is thus far, I think that you think one, a certain level of vulnerability, honesty with yourself and then, just ruthless wrestling and reflection on your reality — things that you might need to reconcile in the past, things you’re dealing with presently. Because only once those have been all the way thought out can you appropriately write about them. That seems like a very grandiose advice coming from me but it is how I feel and when possible I try to implement that advice as well.”
Cole was willing to let life get in the way of ever writing a book. Yet he has discovered how books, and this book and his writing in particular, are not just words on pages making their way across the desks of publishing houses.
His words are activism and they are honest, the most logical of steps toward his dream of being a news correspondent.
“It’s been a crazy process for me personally as a writer. I found that it is in many ways a muscle that needs to be strengthened. If you look at my writing from the beginning of the process, which I think was good but some of the stuff I’ve done recently, I did not know I was capable of doing. I’m really proud of that. I now think of myself as a writer much more so than what I would have otherwise.”
This spring, Cole backed this statement by writing an insightful, open Op-Ed about a discriminatory incident at Georgetown for The Hoya. It is just as firmly grounded in personal narrative, honesty, and a willingness to dialogue and grow as his book is.
It’s inspiring to see those dreams of becoming the next — or the new — Ta-Nehisi Coates, an up-and-coming voice on race in America becoming a reality. It won’t simply be one book or one op-ed, but a continued commitment to writing, thinking and trying to influence the way others view both the world and themselves. In the past year, I’ve seen Cole grow from a strong writer with ideas to a communicator who shares his ideas to influence change.
There are still challenges and uncertainties to overcome, Cole is even facing the unexpected pressure of other people’s enthusiasm and excitement for his finished book.
“Every time I talk to somebody that I haven’t talked to in three days, they ask me if I have finished the book yet. The answer is still no and it will be until it’s finished. I need to weather that storm but use it as motivation to really get to the finish line.”
As Cole uses this time to continue to work on his book, there is no doubt in my mind he will make it to the finish line. As I told him, ‘I want one of the first copies… at least one of the first 50!’ I cannot wait to see what other challenges there will be waiting for him to dominate and then make his own once he finishes this race.
To connect with Cole for speeches, presentations, interviews or consulting work, ctb45@georgetown.edu. Watch his interview on Youtube at Signal Class.
To learn more about Signal Class visit www.SignalClass.com or to apply for an upcoming experience, visit www.SignalClass.com/apply.
