Forgetting Can Be a Writer’s Friend
If handled honestly, it leaves room for revealing speculation
This story is behind Medium’s membership paywall, which means the writer earns through our Partner Program. To become a Medium member, click here.
Specifics are crucial to making a story come alive, so it can seem like there is no greater sin for a memoirist than failing to remember a key detail. The song playing on the radio during a transformative moment. An uproarious quip someone uttered under their breath during a business meeting. What you wore on a first date with your now-partner. Luckily, though, a hazy memory isn’t always a bad thing. By admitting to your audience that you don’t remember something, you earn credibility. Your audience can trust that you’re not just filling in the blanks with shiny, cinematic falsehoods. There’s another benefit, too — an old storyteller’s trick. When you don’t remember, you can speculate.
A few years ago, I went skiing out West for the first time. After having some success on the intermediate-level blue square runs, I teased my brother that he was “more of a green circle kind of guy.” Calamity Jane? No problem. Tippy’s Tumble? Piece of cake. Eventually, I wanted to go down a black diamond, but my brother, a compulsive worrier, begged me not to go. “The ones back East are nothing like the…
