CREATOR SPOTLIGHT
The Essayist Who Turned Her Viral Post Into a Book
Elisabeth Ovesen had terrible writer’s block until she hit her stride on Medium
Every month here at Creators Hub, we’re featuring a creator who is doing something really cool on the platform. This month: Elisabeth Ovesen, author of some of the funniest — and most candid and unique — relationship advice on Medium. Before writing on Medium, Ovesen had another writing life — as the bestselling author of many books, under a pen name. A few years back, she reinvented her brand as an author, and is now on Medium writing under her own name. Soon, she’ll publish a book based on a blog post of hers that went viral.
We asked Elisabeth a few questions via email.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
Creators Hub: If someone only read one of your Medium posts, which should it be and why?
Elisabeth Ovesen: If someone were to read only one of my essays, it should be “Men Love Sluts: How the Fear of Bigger Penises Fuels Slut Shaming,” without a doubt. Of everything I’ve published on Medium, it’s my favorite because it’s so deeply embedded in my wheelhouse. It’s a lengthy, thought-provoking piece that started as an introduction to a book I wanted to write back in 2015, but never did. I fished it out of my hard drive in August 2020 and expounded on the idea. I think it took me about a week to finish it. This essay encapsulates decades of not just personal experience, but professional experience and education. It’s one of my most thorough and authentic pieces. I think my passion for and knowledge about the topic shows, and if nothing else, it’s a conversation starter, which is why it’s my most read essay to date.
How has writing on Medium helped you develop your voice as a writer?
Even though I came to Medium already a New York Times bestselling author three times over, I came without pretense. I came without my former pen name, plus I was five years retired and just as many years into a debilitating writer’s block. I honestly didn’t think I could or would ever write again, and I thought all of my success had been a fluke. Upon writing and publishing on Medium for the first time in the summer of 2020, I thought everyone would hate my work. I’d lost all my confidence as a writer and was only here at the urging of a friend. However, because the responses I received after publishing my first article were so overwhelmingly supportive and encouraging, I felt brave enough to write and publish more. It took a while, but going into 2021, I felt more confident than I had in years. This summer will mark my second year on Medium and my return to book publishing and I couldn’t have done it without the support of my readers and this platform.
What made you want to write the stuff you’ve been writing?
Initially, I published mostly regurgitated lifestyle pieces I’d written years before joining Medium, but by the fall of 2020, I’d reused everything I could and had to start writing fresh material. I was doubtful at first, but slowly found my groove gaining after so many years being unable to write any meaningful material. My writing is best when it comes from a place of authenticity and personal experience. Most recently, I’ve been writing for two Medium publications, ZORA and Level, mostly about relationships, self-love, and self-improvement. This has been in my wheelhouse for years, but most recently, circumstances have brought me to an even clearer path of understanding, acceptance, and growth. I’ve been enjoying sharing my personal journey with Medium readers and being able to bond with them over shared experiences. Always want my writing to help people know they’re not alone in their imperfections, struggles, and triumphs.
What are the last three profiles you’ve followed on Medium?
I recently followed Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck because anyone who puts a dirty word in the title of their book is my kind of person. Why? Because it automatically means you won’t get the sort of mainstream press traditional publishers love. But, if they publish the book anyway, that means it’s damn good and they have the upmost faith in the work and its author. That deserves a purchase, a read, and a follow, at least.
I also followed Marc Randolph, co-founder of Netflix, because I love this company’s origin story. Blockbuster (RIP) had the opportunity to buy Netflix back when they were only mailing out DVDs, but Blockbuster couldn’t see the future. We all know how Blockbuster’s story ended, and how Netflix became the king of streaming. But at what price? They have stiff competition now and seem to always operate from a deficit of billions, reportedly. It’s insane. I can’t wait until they produce a movie about themselves. Anyway, I’m a business and technology fangirl, so Marc made my follow list.
Lastly, I recently followed MacKenzie Scott, rock star philanthropist, mom, and wife to the luckiest science teacher in the world. I love strong, powerful, bad-ass women who make shit happen and change the planet for the better. I wish more women were in charge of things, and I feel like Mac makes that prospect that much more possible. I wish more wealthy men and women gave as much as she does, and I wish more recipients of such generosity and tax write-offs used those funds to help make this country a better place, starting with the underprivileged. I wish a lot of things, but most of all, I wish that we all gave what we could on a regular basis, be it time or money, to make our corners of the world better, safer, kinder.
Is there a specific feature of Medium you really enjoy?
I really love and appreciate the new “listen” feature, which allows busy readers and even the visually impaired to listen to our essays through automated speech technology. I think this opens all of us to gaining more readers and listeners. I imagine busy moms and dads juggling dinner and kids while listening to something funny I’ve written and giggling between yelling at junior to quit climbing onto the countertops. Or, busy business men and women listening to one of my relationships pieces while jumping in and out of Ubers or subway cars. If I could read them all myself I would, but knowing someone can listen to my words while going about their very busy day makes me feel even more connected to those who enjoy my work.
What do you wish you’d known before starting to write on Medium?
I wish I knew how different the Medium audience is from the average social media audience. The majority of Medium readers present themselves more intellectually versus most characters on social media platforms where short, abrupt communication is favored. On the latter, snarky quips are the currency of the realm. On Medium, ours is mostly long-form dissertations and discourse — and I love it! I wish I knew how many brilliant conversations and debates I would be able to have on Medium and how much less ignorance there would be. If I would’ve known or understood this sooner, I may not have been so afraid to publish here in the beginning.
What’s the best piece of writing and/or creativity advice you’ve ever gotten?
Write what you know. Too many times, people think what they know isn’t important, or that everybody already knows it. And even if other people do know what you know, they may not know it the way you know it. We may all have similar stories, but each of us experiences things very differently. So, when we write what we know, not only do we remain true to ourselves, our experiences, and our passions, but we do so while being authentically unique. So, no matter what, always write what you know. Write what you feel, about what happened to you, the blessings and the pain you’ve been through and those that you missed. Connect with other people’s emotions and experiences with your own and you’ll build a community around your words.
If you could write any book, what would it be called?
That book is already being written and it’s called, Men Love Sluts: A Woman’s Guide to Shameless Sex. This singular idea that started as the introduction to a book I was too broken to write, turned into a wildly popular Medium essay, and now, a book all its own. What a crazy ride, and really, I have Medium and its members to thank for that. Together, they have helped me rebuild my confidence and courage, and helped me find my voice after years of being told my experiences and the words that described them were shameful or invaluable. I was beaten into submission, into the sort of death that comes when a writer can no longer write. It was Medium and everyone here, readers and editorial staff, who conspired to keep me writing and who, in a very particular way, saved my life. So… thank you.
More creators to follow:
Management strategist Roger Martin
Humor writer Kyrie Gray
Personal development specialist Amardeep Parmar
Community creator Allison Gaines
Tell us in the responses who you think we should be following!
