How I “chose” engineering
A few weeks back, I saw a post on social media stating that “while men choose technology as their career path, women often stumble into it.” I nodded to myself. Then I stopped for a second. This idea made sense to me - the idea that women often do not choose tech aligns with my experience and my observations to the extent that my brain no longer thinks ‘Why do women not choose engineering?’
For starters, I don’t feel like I chose software engineering. Right place, right time — that’s what got me into coding. I was 12 and in the process of choosing my secondary school when I picked one with a specialised curriculum. There were a lot of factors that I considered at the time — academic merit, accommodation, curriculum, etc. Back then, I wanted to focus on the subject I was good at — Mathematics — but the school I applied to didn’t have that speciality. What it did have was Mathematics and Informatics. At the time, I didn’t even know what programming was.
My first programming workshop
The teacher explained variables as various boxes you can fill and how some boxes are bigger than others — a small box can fit an apple in it but not a wardrobe, for example, and using the sturdy wardrobe box for an apple is simply a waste of space. It got me so excited to put all of the logical thinking I enjoyed into practice. I loved solving problems, coding, and creating, and I was good at programming!
However, I spent my time studying the subjects I struggled with instead of the ones I excelled in. I wanted straight A’s in every discipline, on every test, for every assignment, always. I wanted to be successful in life, and I wanted to do better than my circumstances. The only way I could see that ever happening was by doing well in everything, not just the things I enjoyed. And so, I didn’t stick with programming the same way my male friends did.
I also spent time taking care of myself. By the age of 13, I lived in shared accommodation, sharing a room with two other girls with little support from anyone in my daily activities. I spent time cooking, cleaning, washing my clothes, shopping for groceries, and learning to survive with close to zero personal space.
Between the pressure to perform well in school, daily chores, and teenage hormones, my mental health was quickly deteriorating.
But I found something that helped — Writing
I wrote poems and short stories. I wrote to share my feelings. I wrote to experience the life I didn’t have the time or means to live. I wrote on pieces of paper, on the back of school notebooks, on old newspapers.
When deciding what university degree to pursue, I was no longer one of the best performing students in Maths or Computer Science. I had good marks, but I was no longer attending the extra-curricular activities that I was excited about when I first applied to the school. I struggled with the more complex problems and relied on help from the internet to solve assignments (which at the time, I considered a bad thing).
I assumed I’d have trouble keeping up and I picked Creative Writing instead. Long story short — That didn’t work out. I wasn’t a good writer. I wrote to help myself process the world, not because I wanted to be judged on my ‘flat characters’ and ‘lack of rhythm.’ I struggled keeping up with the base material, while my course mates wrote novels at 15, had a portfolio of 20+ beautiful pieces, regularly went to open mics, or could read 200+ pages in a day.
In my second year, I heard about an opportunity to study CS for a year, taught alongside a conversion masters, and I signed up. The curriculum was packed. I spent 12 hours/day in the computer labs. I worked weekends. And I loved it!
I understood the content. I did well in assignments. I was excited to learn more — a feeling I had completely forgotten. I asked the department to be transferred and graduated with a computer science degree.
Shortly after, I was hired as a Digital Systems Manager for a wonderful organisation called Evolve Education. There, I learned how quickly I can pick up new technologies and how I can excel when I am well supported. I gained a ton of experience and confidence in my abilities.
When thinking about my career after university, I wanted to experience different projects and environments. So I decided to join a medium-sized consultancy called Credera. Since joining, I’ve received a lot of positive feedback on various aspects of my work. I feel supported, welcomed, and less stressed than I’ve ever been!
In Bulgarian, there’s a word for working extremely hard, often for little reward (“бъхтя се” <buh-tya-se>). For years, I lived like this — I was studying full-time, working part-time, and I had neither the time nor the finances to meet friends or even enjoy life. The idea that I could produce high-quality work without working every possible minute of my life was difficult to process. Knowing that I could achieve my goals without being constantly stressed and exhausted has made me happier, more sociable, and quite honestly, a much more pleasant person to work with!
I didn’t really pick Computer Science the first time, but I am glad I came back to it.
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