Recommended Reads On Motherhood + Feminism

The Longest Shortest Time podcast asked The Double Shift editorial advisor (and author of Forget “Having It All”—How America Messed Up Motherhood and How to Fix It) Amy Westervelt for some recommended reading for anyone trying to get a handle on why, as LST creator Hillary Frank wrote in a recent NYT op-ed, there is a special misogyny reserved for mothers. That list got whittled down to 8 top picks, but Amy shared her full list with us. It’s gonna take us a while, but we’re digging this reading assignment so far.

By Amy Westervelt

To research a book about how ideas about motherhood in America were formed, how they impact all women (whether they have children or not), and how we might improve things, I spent most of last year reading and interviewing a lot of really smart people who study this stuff. What I found is that, in many ways, parenthood is the unfinished work of feminism. And, like so much of feminism in general, discussions about motherhood in America far too often center straight, cis-gendered, white, middle-class women, a fact that not only perpetuates the marginalization of other types of mothers but also prevents all types of mothers from learning about and from each other’s mothering practices.

The primary change to how we parent in the last 50 years has been to add more outside-the-home work to women’s lives and more at-home work to men’s lives, in general, but with no parallel shifts to any other systems or cultural expectations. In fact for women, the expectations placed on mothering have only increased as mothers have taken on careers (perhaps purposefully, but we’ll get to that), and the financial and work expectations placed on men have certainly not decreased as the importance of fatherhood has increased.

Meanwhile, both sexes continue to face discrimination around parenting. As a science journalist who dipped my toe into the “mom beat” a couple years ago I’ve seen firsthand how dismissive people can be of the topic, as Hillary Frank pointed out in her recent NYT op-ed, and academics, sociologists, and medical professionals have told me the same thing about their fields. Mothers are keeping the gender pay gap alive too, while fathers face an uphill battle at work and in the culture if they choose to prioritize family. Changing long-held beliefs and entrenched systems takes more than a single policy, but fortunately there are a lot of people thinking seriously about this subject, and sharing those thoughts with the world. Following is an exhaustive (although still not comprehensive — there’s SO much great stuff out there!) reading list for anyone who wants to get a better understanding of how we got here and how to move forward. For even more, follow this curated Twitter list of researchers and journalists focused on the issue.

Pregnancy and Birth

Like a Mother, by Angela Garbes, is a candid, feminist, intersectional and personal deep dive into the science and culture of pregnancy and motherhood born out of Garbes’ personal quest for answers when she had her first baby.

The Lost Mothers series, by ProPublica & NPR, is a powerful ongoing series that looks at preventable maternal deaths in the U.S. and why the country’s maternal mortality rate is so much higher than that of other developed countries.

“Why are so many of San Francisco’s black mothers and babies dying?” The Guardian, by Leslie Casimir, takes the national coverage and localizing it to what’s happening in one, supposedly “progressive” city.

“Reproduction on Display: Black Maternal Mortality and the Newest Case for National Action,” by Haishe Eshe Cole, analyzes how the media has handled the issue of black maternal mortality as it has gained prominence.

Nurture: A Modern Guide to Pregnancy, Birth, Early Motherhood — and Trusting Yourself and Your Body, by Erica Chidi Cohen, is a pregnancy, birth and early parenting book for parents looking for a more integrative approach, written by an experienced doula.

Invisible wounds: Obstetric violence in the United States, by Farah Diaz-Tello, is a comprehensive look at bullying and coercion of pregnant women during birth by health care personnel, known as obstetric violence, an issue that is gaining international prominence. Diaz-Tello compares the U.S. with various European and Latin American countries that have instituted laws and policies around this issue.

Motherhood

Modern Motherhood: An American History, by Jodi Vandenberg-Daves, is a comprehensive look at the history of motherhood in America.

“Integrated Motherhood: Beyond Traditional Ideologies of Motherhood,” by Dawn Dow in Journal of Marriage and Family, is a heavily researched look at how Black middle-class mothers manage motherhood and careers and how their approach to these things differ from the dominant while middle-class narratives.

We Live for the We (out April 2019) by Dani McClain, is written as a handbook for Black women raising children and particularly daughters in a society that is hostile toward and often dangerous for them, but should be read by anyone looking for an intersectional lens on motherhood.

Mothering While Black: Boundaries and Burdens of Middle-Class Parenthood, by Dawn Dow (coming in 2019) pulls together and builds on Dow’s years of research on Black middle-class motherhood to present a comprehensive picture of how the interplay of racial identity, class, and gender shapes the cultural expectations, beliefs, and decisions of African American middle-class mothers regarding work, family, and parenting.

All the Rage. Journalist turned psychologist Darcy Lockman tackles one of the most infuriating challenges of modern parenting: the way childbirth still acts as a sort of gender rights time machine, rocketing women back to 1950s. Lockman sees this as particularly the case in heterosexual marriages, with even the most egalitarian partnerships defaulting to outdated norms, and digs into the how and why of it.

“Mother, Writer, Monster, Maid” (Vela) Writer Ruby Thorpe captures the struggle of trying to produce creative work while parenting in this great essay.

Feminist Theory & History

Black Feminist Thought, by Patricia Hill Collins, is a must-read for anyone trying to embrace a truly intersectional view of both gender and motherhood.

Matricentric Feminism, by Andrea O’Reilly, is a comprehensive look at feminist theory and history through the lens of mothers’ experiences.

Motherhood and Women’s Dual Identities: Rewriting the Sexual Contract, by Petra Bueskens argues that western modernization consigned women to the home and simultaneously released them from it in historically unprecedented, yet interconnected, ways.

The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap, by Stephanie Coontz blows away misconceptions about the past that cloud current debates about domestic life.

Mothers and Others, by anthropologist Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, reveals that humans have not evolved in the sort of every-family-for-themselves form Western society has taken in recent decades.

Memoirs & Essays

The Blue Jay’s Dance, by Louise Erdrich, is a lyrical and poignant reflection on pregnancy, birth and early motherhood from the acclaimed Native American novelist (this is her only nonfiction work).

Revolutionary Mothering is a terrific anthology of essays that centers the voices and experiences of queer and POC mothers.

Guidebook to Relative Strangers, by Camille T. Dungy, is an incredible collection of essays exploring all sides of motherhood and providing a picture of the experience that can’t help but feel familiar to every mother.

Women’s Work: A Reckoning with Work and Home (out in April 2019), by Megan K. Stack, is an unforgettable account of the National Book Award finalist’s experience raising her children abroad with the help of Chinese and Indian women who are also working mothers.

Maid, by Stephanie Land (out Jan 22, 2019) follows Land as she struggles to make ends meet as a single mother who’s trying not only to survive and keep her daughter alive and stable, but also build a life.

Work and Class Struggles

“Where Are the Mothers?” by Katherine Goldstein in Nieman Reports is an in-depth look at mothers in the publishing industry, how that industry does or doesn’t support them, and how that impacts what does and doesn’t get covered in the media.

Making Motherhood Work by sociologist Caitlyn Collins moves way past the Lean In debate to look at how we might really get at the struggles American women face in balancing work and motherhood, and whether American women can look toward European policies for inspiration.

“The Unhappy Marriage of Marxism and Feminism,” by feminist economist Heidi Hartmann, is a classic, written in 1979 but feels very familiar today. In it, Hartmann traces the evolution of the “family wage” as something that was embraced by early labor organizers, and warns that solving labor issues won’t always address sexism.

Promises I Can Keep, by sociologists Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas is an exhaustively researched look at income inequality and the prevalence of unwed mothers in low-income communities.

Novels

A River of Stars, by Vanessa Hua, explores the intersection of immigration (including stress around immigration status) and motherhood.

Motherhood, by Sheila Heti, centers on the should-I-shouldn’t-I, will-I-won’t-I decision-making process around having kids or opting not to.