Why the first word is no.
Most people think the most common word that a baby speaks is “da-da” or “ma-ma”. And this is true when we consider that the definition of word for a being who makes monosyllabic sounds should be two syllables — the minimum requirement to detect that the baby is stringing two intentional sounds together and not random nonsense.
But outside of that definition, the most common first word is “no”. And I think it’s because no is the shortest way (even if it isn’t the most efficient) to yes when communication and understanding is limited.
Imagine a state in which you are unable to use nouns. You’d like a cup of coffee, but know neither the word for “cup” nor “coffee” and everything is behind closed cupboard doors. Imagine that there is a very patient barista, whose job it is to get you what you’d like to drink today. How do you get to that cup of coffee?
Learning how to signal “no” to the barista now becomes vitally important. It might take a long time — after espresso, orange juice, milk, tea, half-fat-full-foam-machiato, but eventually, you’ll get to coffee. And you’ll get to coffee faster than trying to learn how to say coffee. AND along the way, you might learn the signal for “espresso”, “milk” and “juice”.
When you have limited understanding or ability to positively seek the thing you are looking for, it can be discouraging; but you are almost born with the ability to reject the things that you aren’t looking for.
The first trick is being able to tell that the thing that is being offered isn’t the thing that you want. The second trick is having the courage to say no, so that you can get what you don’t want out of the way for a chance at the thing you want.
Missing, ignoring, or dismissing these tricks means you stay in the same place as you are now — with something you don’t want, and no way forward.
Find a way forward through no. Download a free preview of “Question the Start and End with the Question” today at http://criticalmass.ninja
