Charlottesville

Amber Lisa
Aug 26, 2017 · 17 min read

Charlottesville. I’m still upset about it. Why? Well there are so many reasons. One is my personal, familial experience with the Kentucky Klan. This terror is personal. But, I’m not getting into that. Not yet anyway.

Charlottesville has provided every American with any number of philosophical, legal, ethical and moral issues to contend with, in which we can become completely and utterly lost, and probably that was the entire point of it. Psyop much? Don’t get me started. Yeah, I’m paranoid, but that doesn’t mean Big Brother isn’t out to get me.

But, I’m not here to discuss that. There’s one thing I can’t ignore about Charlottesville. Race. Race in America. I have to write about it. Why? I feel compelled. I have a bit of a super power. I didn’t ask for it. And I certainly don’t want it. But it is what I have, and those of us with super powers, occasionally have to use them for the great good. So what’s my super power? I can cross those lines.

Crossing the Lines

I’m a line crosser, in more ways than one. Why do I have this skill? I don’t know. It’s a function of appearance, temperament, personality, and horoscope. I’m a Libra. I’m obsessed with justice and balance. I want everything to be fair, for everyone always; and yet in America, in any society really that’s hardly possible. But to the extent that it is, or that I can be, I want to make sure that I do my part to facilitate that, so I cross lines.

It’s nearly impossible to really talk about race, In America, without also talking about, class and gender. I can cross those other lines too, even though those lines are usually less visible. All of these factors converged in Charlottesville; and they sort of exploded. I’m going to get to that, eventually- not in this one post though. In this post I only want to focus on race, and crossing that line.

And, in America, in most places, that’s a real hard, clear, sure line.

Let’s first start with the fact that America, legally and spacially, in the past and to this day, keeps blacks and whites in deeply segregated spaces. These dividing lines are visible- blacks, everywhere are clear — don’t expect to ever go there.

Downtown Charlottesville, Virginia

(And there, incidentally, was actually downtown Charlottesville, which is why, contrary to many erroneous reports about it, there was not a strong Blacks Lives Matter presence at the Charlottesville Alt-Right event.)

Whites, don’t dare to come here — the Cabrini Green projects in Chicago. (Except sometimes particular bold ones actually do.) But you get my point.

Cabrini Green Projects, Southside Chicago, Illinois

Black Americans do not deeply venture into very white spaces, nor do white Americans venture into deeply Black ones. There are lines, very clear lines that prevent movement, between the races. The existence of these lines, are closely tied also to class and gender. These lines permeate every aspect of white and black American life, even the way we speak to one another.

Black dialogue on American race relations, is usually entirely different than white dialogue on American race relations. And these two groups, rarely, if ever, speak honestly about the topic to one another, about the topic. In our distinct racial groups, the hate, the fear, the slurs, the ignorance flows far more freely, than when in the midst of integrated company.

How, do I know this? Well…I have crossed the lines and gone deep into both territories, the deep white ones (the downtown Charlottesvilles of the nation) and the deep black ones (The Cabrini Green projects of the nation.) This is what a line crosser can do. In some circumstances, this is what a line crosser has to do. So…what have I learned being a line crosser? Well, I know what these two groups at opposite extremes actually think of one another. (They’re not good thoughts, on either side, unfortunately.)

Two points about this: Point one — on either side, there is tremendous fear, tremendous mistrust and a deep lack of understanding that permeates all American race relations, in 1001different ways. Point two- these are two American extremes, often, believe it or not, living in close proximity in most American cities. This causes some tension, especially since, in between these two extremes is the space where most Americans reside. The issue for most Americans is neither, clearly white, nor black, but 1001 shades of gray. Those shades of gray can be extremely tricky to navigate. Who can do it? The line crossers. They can cross over those various shades of gray, and sometimes end up in an extreme place, that is totally black or white. And if you should find yourself, crossing over into a really extreme place- you must be careful, because if you want to make a real difference, it can be dangerous, and — it’s always work.

The Work

Planting the seeds for a better world. Backbreaking work.

But, if you think you can, I want you to do the work. I want you to start crossing those lines. Right now, in America, we need people to do the work. And it’s not an easy job. It’s actually a really difficult job. It’s draining. It’s thankless. It will win you no popularity contests. It is work. But is your country worth it? Is your city, your town, worth it? If so, then you need to learn how to cross those lines. Because now, more than ever, we need, good strong and courageous, line-crossers. We need lots of people who can cross those lines and do the work to promote understanding, cooperation, communication — and tamp down fear, hate, and at this point, hysteria. It is on many sides, Trump actually was right about that, but he lacks credibility…well, because he’s Trump. And that’s a whole other crazy can of worms, we won’t delve into. Not yet anyway. I really don’t want to do the partisan thing, sorry for even bringing it up. Forget I even mentioned that.

This isn’t about Trump. Let’s leave him out of this, for now.

Gotta admit, the faces are hysterical. This one says it all.

Let me get back to recruiting line-crossers. I am asking for help, for now, only from white people. Why only white people, readers might be wondering. Well a couple of reasons, but the first being that for whites, crossing lines is easier. When crossing these lines, most whites have less to lose and far more to gain. (Although it’s not immediately.) So, white people, I’m asking you to have to trust me on this, this is your fight as well. I think you’ve always known this. It’s the reason America had an abolitionist movement.

From the conversations I’ve had with a few white women, there those among you who will readily admit this. (White men, not so much, but then that is where the lines — cross over into sexism.) Anyway, here is my point, white people, you need to learn how to cross these lines, for you. It’s your heritage. Google Founding Father George Mason and slavery, see where he stood on the matter. He was one hell of a line crosser.

What’s it like, being a line crosser? Well for starters, you have listen to statements like this:

“You know what? I think black people are animals. I really do. I mean just look at the way they kill each other! Only animals act like that, no not even animals. They’re worse than animals. They’re less than human.”

And, if you really want to challenge that statement, you don’t react, with disgust and revulsion, though you might want to. Instead, you say something neutral like:

“I understand that you feel that way — and that’s your right. But I don’t see it like that.”

And, you just leave it at that. You don’t try to convince them otherwise. I know it sounds crazy and counter-intuitive, but, if you want to do the work, that’s what it takes.

Line crossers don’t judge. They do the work. And, the work requires coming from a place of nonjudgment. The work is promoting understanding, cooperation, communication — and tamping down fear, hate, and at this point, hysteria.

Everyone can’t do this work. Everyone is not a line crosser; and everyone cannot cross these lines; and it’s especially important to understand that crossing over from black to white is very, very hard. If you’re black person in America, this work is probably not for you. If a white person says this to you, you’re probably going to be very, very angry (understandably). The good news is, unless they’re hiding behind internet anonymity, no white person will actually say anything like this to you, unless there is an extremely uneven power dynamic, or you are the only black person in the room. (Oh you’d better believe, white people speak quite freely, when they have the numbers, as do blacks. So much of this is about numbers.

If you should hear such ignorance, all I can say is exploding in anger doesn’t help. Usually, that’s the desired response. And so, as much as it kills you to seem totally unaffected, I would advise you to pretend that you are. Otherwise, you are giving an extreme racist exactly what he wants.

Just don’t do it. If you can, remain civil and unaffected in the face of that kind of extreme ignorance, then you can do the work. If you can’t, just walk away. Don’t Son of Baldwin it, in some circumstances, that will get you killed. (I got friends like Son of Baldwin and I had to tell one of them, for the love of God! You can’t say those things in rural America, and not expect the Klan to show up at your house! Come on!)

So, emboldened black people, you gotta chill. Especially in these rural and Southern areas. I will circle back to you later. (Because clearly, we have work to do.)

But, this work, as described above is for white people. This work is for white people who are courageous enough to talk to other deeply entrenched racist white people. And, if you’re black, this shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Usually whites are only going to be that honest about their racism, with other whites.

So when this happens, what does the typical white person do? Most of the time, they have no idea what to do in the face of blatant racism. (This is true for any other kind of ism as well- sexism, homophobia, anti-semitism- any dislike of other. When it is voiced, most people just have no idea what to do, if they are not in agreement with the speaker.) So most whites, when confronted with extreme racism, will either agree, try to laugh it off, or say nothing. Why? Because anything else is work. Unpaid work, at that, and who wants that?

But white people, you need to start doing the work. Why? Because, now your towns are on the line. Racism is a cancer, and it’s coming for you, too.

Entrenched Positions

How do I know the hearts and minds of deeply racist white people? Because plenty of these white people have been this honest with me. And it’s a long story, how that even came about, but a short answer is a career in EEO, the dreaded Diversity, and Affirmative Action. No one, black or white or other, really likes these terms. But quite honestly, most people don’t understand them either. Especially not “diversity.” But more on that later.

Deeply racist whites, entrenched in those positions. Same with blacks. Not moving.

Another reason racist whites are so honest about racism with me, is because, although I’m not white, I’m very light. Honestly, this confuses most people. It’s the reason I can cross a lot of lines, and it’s the reason a lot of whites feel comfortable crossing lines with me. There’s also the whole nonjudgmental thing. Believe it or not, the more nonjudgmental I appeared to be, the more open and honest and comfortable some whites feel discussing their extremely racist views with me.

And, it’s not that I am comfortable with the expression of extremely racist views. Of course I find them repugnant. It’s just that when one is inundated with them, (and at one point and time in my career, I was) you can’t have an extreme judgmental response to every single one of them. You just come to a sad understanding that, well, this is who these people are. And, I am not going to change that. Pushing against it, every single time, would be exhausting. So I learned, very early in my career, to listen to the ranting, raving, lunatic of a racist, and simply respond with “um hmmm.” Much like your typical Southern black.

But, I wasn’t that. Not exactly. So I also learned to follow up with, “I’m not here to change your mind about race or sex. How you feel is how you feel. I’m just here to tell you the law.” Because, that was my job.

And..believe it or not, for my purposes, that worked. So, by now, you might be wondering, quite honestly, what is the point, Amber? What is the point in passively allowing whites to engage in their deeply held racist views, and at work, no less? How would you (or any other line crosser) make the world any better, with that?

Well, what I discovered, quite by accident, was as long as I was not judging them, I had a chance of influencing them. Here’s a story.

I knew a guy, a really racist white guy, self-proclaimed “redneck,” confederate-flagging loving, it’s-my-heritage-proclaiming, if you’re from the South, you know the type.

It really isn’t ALL about the slaves. I’m serious.

This one looked and acted like, he was familiar with a sheet and hood or two. He was extremely and unapologetically racist and sexist. I had to work closely with him on many occasions and I was deeply offended, on many occasions. But, I never showed it. (For people who know me well, I know that’s hard to believe, but professional me, is entirely different from straight, no chaser, uncut me. Those are two entirely different personas.) So no matter how many, “uppity colored gal!” or “Ms. Knows-it-alls” this guy threw my way, I kept it cool, because I had a job to do.

Long story short, after a contentious professional relationship, lasting many years, I saved his ass, in a way that only someone like me could do. And no, I didn’t do it for him. I did it for the people who worked for him, so they could be safe — quite literally. There is quite a story here, that I can’t tell. Legal and confidentiality issues, but let me say this, that whole Charlottesville situation, which is to say racial tensions running really high, and then exploding, is something I’ve seen before — and especially in this D.C. area, where the North meets the South, and they both meet the world. And based on those experiences, I can honestly report this, extreme racism really does puts everyone in danger, not just people if color (although POCs are on the front lines.) But extreme racism is hate, and it goes after everyone not down with that hate. I’m here to tell you, I’ve seen it and I’ve lived it. It’s very destructive.

Anyway, after all that, the guy reflected on everything I had been saying about racism and sexism in the workplace for all those years. And with regard to the sexism, he admitted to me, with real shame, that he had been wrong.

I wasn’t looking for his admission, and quite honestly, I didn’t much care, so much damage to so many professional lives had been done, by this man. Secretly, I wanted to vomit, every single time I had to meet with him. But, I never once showed him that; and when I met with him, I never allowed myself to be in that space. I always treated him, as I would have wanted him to treat me, with respect, and as a professional should be treated. I led by example. Eventually, I moved him, from his crazy racist and sexist entrenched position. How do I know? Because after that, his behavior changed.

That was no small victory. And that’s the point.

Here’s what everyone needs to understand about deeply racist white people (and for that matter deeply racist black people- I’m going to get to them, too) they are entrenched. They deeply hold these extreme views, and nothing, no single thing that you say to them, especially coming from a place of judgment, will change that. They will not be moved. They will, in fact, only entrench more deeply, if you judge them.

Don’t Deface Graves. Not cool.

As for a lot of Southerners, and how they feel about those confederate monuments and paraphernalia - they will not be moved. Try to forcefully move them around that issue, and they will fight like their lives depend on it. That’s why, in my humble opinion, the issue of confederate monuments must be dealt with very, very carefully. That’s a real powder keg situation. There are a lot of deep, deep emotions tied into those monuments, that most white people haven’t adequately death with — and it’s not all about the wanting to oppress and enslave black people. (It is about that however; it’s just not all about that.) But that’s a topic for whole other post. I will say this, defacing graves? Not cool, okay? But also, Paula Deen trying to reclaim her heritage, slaves and all…not cool okay? All right Southern black and white people? Like we really need to talk about this. And just so you know, most blacks I know thought The Help was a dreadful f*cking movie, just so you know. We didn’t love The Butler either. (Even though, I thought, both had their saving graces.) And I love Game of Thrones, I do! But Confederate? Really, Dave and Dan? Really! Come on!

Just why?

Back to entrenchment. Entrenched people will not be easily moved from their positions. Judging them, trying to censor them, it’s only going to enrage them, and make them more volatile, and perhaps with the alt-right movement, this is all by design. Most people are appalled by what happened in Charlottesville, and that’s fine, you feel how you feel. But know this, there are a lot of people, many white ones, who were secretly thrilled by it, who feel justified and vindicated — and they absolutely ain’t going out without a fight. So what do you do, if your want to be a line crosser? You don’t fight them. And…I’m not saying this because I am particularly compassionate or understanding. I’m not particularly coming from a place of Buddha-Zen enlightenment as I write these words, although, that line of philosophy does help one to approach these extraordinarily volatile issues with a sense of calm.

I do use them from time to time. But more so than being enlightened, I’m strategic. I’m practical…and If I am advising a fellow line crosser, someone bold enough to try and cross that line, I want them to be all these things too.

What’s Next?

Let’s All Do the Work!

Okay! So why are the next steps for my veteran and newly line crossers? I want you, all of you to start writing and thinking. There are plenty of you on Medium doing that already. Zelda Krumlauf, you’re a veteran. Also props to H. Nemesis Nyx, Alexainie Nathan Whiteside, Mike Meyer, Meg Caitlin Johnstone, I’ve seen you cross those lines! Do you want to tell us about how you do this, and why? Would you write an article for Crossing the Colorlines, this new publication I am launching, to deal just with this specific issue?

What about you, Ezinne Ukoha? You just explained to me in a recent comment, just how and why you do this, though you use tactics I wouldn’t recommend. Maybe you can expand upon the wins you’ve had with your white privilege conversations, (which I think are entirely futile to have with most white Americans.)

But, I just don’t want the choir, I also want to hear from the other side of the spectrum.

Steve McGrath has conservative, traditional and Southern (though not extreme) views on American race relations. What does that mean? I think it means he’s conflicted, as most Americans are with this topic. It’s like he wants to do the right thing, but what is that exactly? And what is that going to cost him? These are excellent questions by the way, and I’m not saying that because I am asking them, I’m saying that because anyone who thinks they are honestly going to jump into this dialogue, should probably try and figure out the answers to these questions before you do. There are other along this vein: Al Black, Traditional Tradesman, Reginald Erikson, Arthur Lecuyer, Dustin Briscoe, Benjamin T. Awesome, Kady M. David Piepgrass, David Antrobus, Steven Rouach, Grrrrrobert, Jack Preston King, Nathan Eyre, Sean Neville.

Then too, there’s Estwald, One Tongue Johnny, Abel Cohen, Paul Easton — that commentary, not going to be typical — but certainly provocative.

Whatever John Hopkins has to say about this, I think I will probably love it. But he lends a fresh voice, a fairly unbiased perspective, as he’s not American. This isn’t his problem.

But as for the rest of us, Americans it most definitely is a problem and we’ve got to face it. So, I’m also calling for back-up from my old school crew (and Zelda’s apart of that.) Like Trump, I got people. I got Hillary, I got Liz, I got Karen, I got Kate. All very white, but all decent enough to say, you know what, this race thing in America, it is a problem. All smart enough to know, we should probably do something about it. I know, because I’ve seen or heard them all say something to that effect. I wonder why they even bother to do it, because as they know, full well, most of their peers do not. And I know that these particular people, all have the luxury of being able to care less about it. Because they can insulate themselves from any and all negative impacts of racism, or at least they could, until Charlottesville. (Which is a lot like Shaker Heights y’all.) No one wants the Klan or Nazis at their backdoor.

But hey, let’s talk to the Klan. Let’s talk to the Alt-right. Let’s talk to the Nazis. Let’s at least hear what they have to say. Besides, we need the friction and controversy. Why? Because it’s real. We all know this. With regard to this particular topic, there are those who make me cringe, cause they ain’t crossing no lines, they’re drawing them harder and thicker and demanding that they not be crossed. I’m calling you out gxorlando, Ryder Spearmann, Steven Sicular, and Rick Fischer; and, I’m going to ask you, why do you do it?

Also, there is James Massey who, I believe honestly thinks he’s black anti-racist, which is to say, he’s quashing the racism of black people. Well…I’d argue in order to do that, you’d have to understand it. And in order to understand it, you’d have to be black, which he is not. But you know what, I’d actually like to engage James. (And I typically do.) Because how in the hell are we going to cross these lines, if we don’t start engaging with those deep on the other side of it?

Let’s cross these lines. Let’s start engaging on real, civil conversation with regard to race relations. So I’ll open it up with, Charlottesville. What, if anything, bothered you about it; and how do your concerns tie into the state of American race relations? I think that’s a pretty provocative prompt. So much to tackle there. And… you can say anything.

Son of Baldwin, do you want to chime in? (I think he will say something brilliant. Many others will disagree.) But hey, it’s my post. I will entertain you. All of you, on all sides of all the lines. Here’s all I ask: please try to make this challenging for me. Which is to say, please don’t come at me with typical Dem/Pub party lines. (I know what they are, as they are all over social media- so some originality please!)

I want real, provocative, insightful dialogue on race — from the line-crossers and those deep behind the lines.

Stay civil! (Cause if you don’t I will block you.) So, come on, Let’s do this.

Crossing the Colorlines

A Publication Dedicated to Race Relations in America — Black Lives Matter, Blue, Green, Red, White, Brown, Purple and Yellow too. Let’s work this out.

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Amber Lisa

Written by

I am that “out-the-box” bitch! Going hard on everything I care about with extreme authenticity.

Crossing the Colorlines

A Publication Dedicated to Race Relations in America — Black Lives Matter, Blue, Green, Red, White, Brown, Purple and Yellow too. Let’s work this out.

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