Anniversaries in the Cave
Today is the one year anniversary of my reluctant return to the U.S. to get some admin things done. I knew, and the Universal transit system had its own ideas about what I wanted and what would best support me.
“Happy Anniversary!” my housemate greeted me this morning. I smiled and thanked her, while a sobered part of the Observer noted, “A year. A whole year…wasted.” Wow! That is NOT how this feels. That is NOT the truth, though there have been moments of working through the grief cycle of a lifetime of a certain kind.
My physical body has healed greatly through this time, in the absence of most of what I have known to be ‘best’ for it. I have become a living-lab example of how all things have changed.
Cave experiences are tricky, in that we move out of time and into a phasing in and out of no-time. The space we inhabit appears to take over, causing a certain type of sensory deprivation and an inner stimulation of the truth and fiction we have accumulated in the course of our lives. Heavy on the fiction, if we’re radically honest about our inner landscape.
Yesterday held odd memories of the year-ago leaving of an old life, ‘for good.’ Strange, that feeling when memories illuminate truth. I remembered the last moments with someone who had been a close friend for the past few years. Did he feel what was happening? Was he at…
