Both Things Can Be True
Avoiding Either-Or Thinking About Aging & Ageism
Just before the holidays, I injured my right knee. Or more accurately, I discovered that the wear and tear on my right knee from an injury when I was 14 years old had caught up with me.
I stood up from my chair after a Zoom meeting. My knee felt like it had had a seizure. It throbbed with pain, I couldn’t straighten my leg, and my foot was six inches off the floor. Within minutes, the area surrounding my right knee had swelled to three time the size of my left knee.
In the days that followed, as I hobbled around on a walker, then a cane, all I kept thinking was: Is this what aging is going to be like? Ugh! Was I dealing with my own internalized ageism? Ableism?
This is not a great attitude for an anti-ageism advocate, who preaches about Dr. Becca Levy’s research about the benefits of age-positive beliefs (longer life span, better physical and mental health, reduced likelihood of dementia), and who speaks to employers and anyone else who will listen about the business case for older workers and intergenerational teams.
And then I had to remind myself of something I’ve often found myself saying in my anti-ageism work: Both things can be true.
We can publicly refute stereotypes about older workers being digitally incompetent, and recognize that some older adults have been excluded from learning about technology, e.g., by lack of broadband access and training opportunities, championing digital inclusion for all people. Both things can be true.
We can recognize ageist statements when we see them, and sometimes choose not to speak out. (If I spent all my time addressing the ageist comments that people wanted me to, I would never do anything else).
So yes, I will question why a professional platform like LinkedIn runs ageist advertising, and I may choose to leave the barista who hands me a mocha in a crowded cafe with a smiling “here you go, honey” alone. Both things can be true.
I can work with Colorado’s Older Worker Policy Collaborative to strengthen workplace age discrimination laws, and also encourage older job seekers to follow their career counselor’s advice to shave years off their resumes. Is encouraging people to do that potentially encouraging ageism? Maybe, but right now we are living in an ageist world and people who need and want to work can’t wait until we solve it all. Both things can be true.
And then there are those people who question why Changing the Narrative works on campaigns like the Anti-Ageist Birthday Card campaign, and ask: “Why aren’t you working on important things?” I can believe that campaigns like the anti-ageist birthday card campaign are important to educate people about everyday ageism, and also recognize that we need to work on public policy to strengthen protection for older adults (we do). Both things can be true.
I can champion the benefits of older workers to employers, and recognize that younger people also deal with ageism. That’s why my presentation for employers is called “The Business Case for Older Workers and Intergenerational Teams.” Both things can be true.
I can understand ageism affects women differently (gendered ageism) and that women, especially women of color, are more likely than men to experience economic insecurity as we age, having been more likely to be paid less and stepped out of the workforce to take care of children and older family members, and I can also understand that older men are dealing with workplace ageism, and it’s no less real for them. Both things can be true.
So for right now, I will continue to celebrate the gifts of aging, including being able to use my strengths and experience fighting for an issue that I care about, and lament the reduced functioning in my knee.
While awaiting the arthroscopic surgery to remove the “loose bodies” in my right knee, I’ll slap one of Jan Golden’s Ending Ageism stickers on my cane when I need to use it. And remind myself again: Both things can be true.
© Janine Vanderburg, 2024
