By Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age ∙ September 24, 2022 ∙ 5 min read
News from the Crow’s Feet Podcast
Today’s new podcast episode features the internationally acclaimed journalist and thought leader Carl Honore in an engaging conversation with host Melinda Blau. They examine how status shapes our lives, changes as we age, and can be reimagined for greater meaning. Drawing from his 5-part BBC series and personal experiences, Carl reveals how status is about human connection, community, and personal growth, not just professional achievements.
Our two-part series on Grey Divorce, hosted by Betsy Allen, called for a third mini-episode. In this Crow’s Feet Extra, poet Carol Shamon talks to Betsy about her divorce; the “hardest and best” thing she’s ever done.
Our Stories
Crow‘s Feet writers were reflective this week.
Barry Silverstein’s Accidental Career started as a high school English teacher after college, setting aside youthful dreams of becoming a doctor. After a few years, he touched down in public relations, then advertising, before landing in direct marketing. Establishing his own direct marketing firm, he transitioned from the paper-based economy to digital databases.
What may have started as unintentional, Barry writes,
“… all along the way, the teaching, writing, and business management skills I developed before and during my accidental career have served me well.”
Dan Adams never aspired to be a CEO. After eight successful years in program management of a nonprofit, he was elevated from V.P. of Youth Programming to CEO. Overnight, Dan’s role pivoted to fundraising. It was a role he was good at, but not comfortable with, he writes in his essay, The Pretender.
After seventeen years, he resigned. What he knew for sure was that he no longer wanted to be a pretender:
“What I DIDN’T want was to jump back into the fray, fighting for scraps amongst the non-profit vultures — to be a pretender, standing behind a podium and sitting at long tables with a bunch of arrogant suits and ties with my hand out, telling stories and spitting out tidbits of wisdom to people whom I had caught in tenuous and fleeting moments of good-will, working at the behest of hungry marketers and regulators and donors and foundations and boards with too much ego and short memories.”
For decades, Orrin Onken was a lawyer specializing in elder law. Often, in social settings, he writes in the essay Tidying Up the Detritus of a Career, people would strike up a conversation about his day job, looking for free advice. Mostly, he was happy to oblige. Being a lawyer was what he did.
“For decades, my profession was my identity. I spoke the language and wore the uniform. In law school, they taught me to think like a lawyer, and I did. The courtroom was my stage.”
And now? Not unhappily, he’s cleaning up the last bits of that era, his computer files and links to the Oregon state legal infrastructure. They are, he says, “the detritus of my career.”
Carole Olsen is matter-of-fact in her piece I’ve Learned Not to Expect a Damn Thing. She cites specific areas where time and circumstance have altered the dynamic, but is resolute about not allowing the changes to drive the train, so to speak. Many of us can relate to how the trifecta of relationships with adult children, friends, and spouses changes over time. Today, she exhibits the power of agency and forgiveness in managing situations that once upset her.
“I’m in charge of my own happiness; no one else is.”
For Andrea Gielen, music prompts reflection. When Music Makes Memories takes us from her preteen passion for the Beatles on The Ed Sullivan Show (circa 1964) to the Allman Brothers a decade later. In between is the Stones, whose lyrics, “You can’t always get what you want,” were a standard, good-natured retort by her husband to temper their children’s longings.
And what personal top ten list would exclude The Boss, Bruce Springsteen? His “Dancing in the Dark” transports Andrea to a concert venue in Denver, 2012, as if it were yesterday.
A different kind of reflection is in Mary McGrath’s amusing fantasy, I’d Like to Be a Dog, on the easy-going life of Man’s Best Friend.
While it’s not all milk bones and frisbees at the beach, many dogs live a pretty much worry-free life. A lot of the hassle is deferred to the owner. She points to insurance premiums, job security (unless you really screw up), global instability, and climate change. Dogs seem to be in charge only of affection, and even that can be negotiated.
The best part? Mary closes with the definitive win.
“You don’t have to worry about whether you’re gonna end up in a rest home, hooked to machines, and given all sorts of medications that have a bounty of side effects. When the time is right, your owners know what to do.”
Who can argue with that?
If this sample whets your appetite, you’ll find new stories every day on Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age, and even more stories on our Substack publication.
Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age at Medium Day
A huge shout-out to the hundreds of Crow’s Feet writers and readers who stopped by, participated in discussions, and asked thoughtful questions on Medium Day. We’re still blushing from your warm comments.
From all of us who staffed the Crow’s Nest booth — we had a blast meeting all of you!
Melinda Blau, Lee J. Bentch, Michele Cambardella, Jean Anne Feldeisen, Nancy Franklin, Jan M Flynn, and Kathleen Murphy
And one follow-up note:
CF Connect is a cohort of Crow’s Feet writers who meet online monthly to discuss a topic of interest and build camaraderie with other writers. If you’re interested in learning more, reach out to group leader Kathleen Murphy at kathleen.murf@gmail.com.
Until next week,
Jane Trombley, Contributing Editor
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