Children Are Being Bussed in to Trick-or-Treat in My Neighborhood
Tiny demons have me cowering in my living room.
For most of the year, the only children in my neighborhood of retirees are visiting grandchildren. They wander bored down the sidewalks, staring at house after house devoid of playmates, biding their time until their parents take them back home.
Once a year, that changes. On All Hallows Eve, between 600 and 800 wild-eyed urchins will come to my door demanding sugary treats. They emerge from their hiding places in the surrounding locales disguised as creatures of the night, climb into their parents’ minivans, and descend upon my otherwise quiet neighborhood.
Because there are so many of them, ordinary trick-or-treat manners are cast aside. There will be no ringing of doorbells and opening of doors. Instead, my wife and I recruit family members and position them on the front porch to feed the horde. Police patrol on Segways, controlling auto traffic and reuniting children with lost parents.
Our older grandchildren do the frontline combat, dispensing treats to the little ones as they line up with their bags at our front porch. Less courageous relatives work in support roles, emptying huge bags of candy from Costco to resupply the frontline soldiers.
