Crow’s Feet
Published in

Crow’s Feet

Content with the Journey

I have become aware, of late, that the road before has rather less distance than the road behind…

I have been reading pieces by people talking of dreams they had in their youth, and how their dreams have changed, or were lost, or fallen away. I have been reading of people who felt visible, once, in youth, but now feel old and ignored.

paved path leading to a short tunnel
A path… a tunnel… a light at the end, and a new place on the other side (or that’s the plan) [photo by author]

I’m not sure as I’ve ever had “dreams”… I would have called them “Big Plans.” The Plan for a naval career in submarines…
The Plan for a naval career in computers…
The Plan for being a house husband to a naval officer wife…
The Plan for getting back to New England to “settle down”…
The Plan for, um, next month, maybe, perhaps…

Now I’m good being in the now as Deb’s husband. Oh sure, plans, still (Iceland cruise in 2023; move into a retirement home in 2027ish), but small plans. Comfortable road markers, not grand destinations.

The destinations turned out not to be as important as my traveling companion. And that’s fine.

I am mostly invisible, these days, but I’ve lived that way most of my life, and I like it.

When I need to, I take on my Instructor aspect or my Announcements aspect or my Just Her Husband aspect and become somebody else long enough to do what needs done.

I don’t have to worry about anxiety episodes or people who feel I need the value of their opinions or folks who ask me about things without listening to my answers.

I make jokes to clerks who look harried and leave coins in parking lots for children to find and put the can of tuna back in the tuna section when I find it with the cans of chicken.

I tell my wife she’s beautiful, because she is, and that I love her, because I do.

And life goes on, and I’m fine.

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Jack Herlocker

Jack Herlocker

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Husband & retiree. Developer, tech writer, & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.