Member-only story
Do All You Can, Then Get Help
Don’t feel guilty about asking for help to take care of your loved ones.
My father got sick in August of 2004. He had been experiencing some cognitive and physical problems, so he went to see a neurologist. A CT scan revealed three lesions in his brain that were most likely malignant tumors. The prognosis for such conditions at his age was not encouraging. My father opted for no biopsy and no treatment. “I’m seventy-five years old,” he said. “I’ve had a good life.” No one in our family argued with him about his choice to let nature take its course.
Nature did take its course; it wasn’t pretty. The immediate family — my two siblings and I, our spouses, and my four nieces and nephews — convened at the family home in Boise, Idaho, one weekend. Dad’s problems were evident to all of us. He had trouble finding words and completing sentences, which frustrated him terribly. He seemed overwhelmed by the presence of so many people in his house and the associated hubbub. I think he just wanted to be left alone.
The tumors continued to grow over the next several weeks. Dad experienced more and more problems with walking and balance, and his speech, understanding, and judgment continued to deteriorate. Brain cancer is not a nice way to die.
