Do you want advice or just an ear?
The mantra to build trust
One of the biggest problems with accumulated wisdom is that we are always jumping at the chance to share it.
Stop.
Think.
Ask this question first:
“Do you want advice or just an ear?”
And follow the person’s selection.
It is incredibly hard to remember. It may require you to bloody your tongue gripping it securely between gritted teeth to prevent blurting out the completely obvious solution (in your experience) to their problems, but the trust you build by listening is worth every ounce of pain.
We are inundated with advice givers (including me). From Dear Abby, to Doctor Phil to Jim Cramer and a lot of folks here on Medium, everyone has wisdom to share and advice to give. As an example, there are some 7,500 articles from 5,700 writers here on Medium with the hashtag “Listening” showing how much the idea of engaged listening weighs on people’s minds.
But as older folks, we are also wise enough to know that sometimes we have to let people work through their issues. We know that most of us think and talk. (or is that talk to think? or is it think by talking?). We may ourselves wander around the house talking to the walls just to process our own thoughts.
