Hey Young Women: What’s the Deal With The False Eyelashes?

They look ridiculous in the daytime. It’s like you are starring in a regional theatre production of Cabaret and forgot to take off your costume.

Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

I’m coming up on my sixty-third birthday, so I’m not susceptible to the latest trends that upcoming twenty-somethings are currently going ga-ga for. But permanent false eyelashes that rival Liza Minelli’s on Broadway? Really?

I wasn’t immune to such trends when I was young and stupid. I got one-inch-long acrylic nails back in the seventies when they were invented. They looked horrible on everybody. It was doubly ridiculous for me because I played the violin and couldn’t have long nails on my left hand. So I just got them on my right hand. My violin teacher pointed out that the nails interfered with my bowing, so I removed them.

Thank God my fingernail fashion-slave mentality only lasted a few days.

But these outrageous eyelashes are everywhere. I see them in the weight room at my gym. I see them on servers in restaurants. I see them at the beach.

Just stop, ladies. You’re beautiful enough as you are with no makeup, no fake eyelashes, and no fake fingernails.