Member-only story
How My Obituary Should Read
I’m putting the truth out there!
As we age, the reality of our demise becomes increasingly apparent. But I believe in facing Death with a sense of humor.
What choice do we have? Go down the rabbit hole and risk everyone not wanting to be around us?
So I thought I would begin writing my own obituary. Might as well get the truth out there before somebody messes up my bio.
— To say she was goofy was an understatement.
— No wonder she couldn’t hold down a job. She was a writer!
— “Talks incessantly” was written on her first-grade report card.
— Her body produced too much gas.
— The only time she had insight was after she had cataract surgery.
— At times, she was much too vain, varicose in fact.
— Yes, those were her real teeth.
— She had an excellent sense of hearing, especially in court.
— Often, she would forget to take her memory pills.
— She had so many hammer toes, she should’ve gone into construction.
— The cause of her bunions? She read too much about Paul Bunyan as a child.
