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How Not to End Up Like Bill Gates
The Microsoft co-founder says he regrets his divorce — too late
Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates recently called the end of his 27-year marriage to Melinda French Gates, the mother of their three adult children, in 2021 “the mistake I most regret.”
“You would have to put that at the top of the list. There are others but none that matter. The divorce thing was miserable for me and Melinda for at least two years.”
Then about two weeks later, he added some context:
“Despite the fact that the divorce wasn’t great, having those three kids, the work we were able to do together — even if I knew that it wouldn’t last forever, I would still do it again.”
Would French Gates marry him again? Hmmm.
I thought about his words while reading a long essay by author Daniel Oppenheimer in the New York Times, in which he describes how his sessions with well-known family therapist and author Terry Real with his wife of nearly 20 years, Jess — also a therapist — helped him realize that the problem in their marriage was him.
Like all too many men who were raised to repress their feelings and desires and ability to connect, Oppenheimer was exercising power in his marriage the way little boys do — by throwing tantrums…
